been too long

I apologize for not having written in here in so long. It's been a crazy month. And by crazy basically I mean that I slacked off until the last minute about essays, spent the final week in the library all the time and crying a lot over emotional things. Then I fucked off for about a week and a half and didn't study until the last minute for history cus I'm stupid. Took that exam yesterday and it was a huge mess. Showed up like 20 min early and it wasn't until ten min after that that I thought to check my seat number. Wasn't on list...raced down to computer lab and wasn't listed on my student records although I had gotten all the e-mails saying I was taking the exam. Decided that if all else failed, I could just do a mitigating circumstances form and resit the exam. Went up to history department, trying hard not to cry at the guy who was working in the office, explained the situation, he tells me to just go back down and they would register me there and to go back after. Two minutes to spare, I took all the stairs from the 8th floor to the ground and ran into the exam just as it was beginning. Everything went smoothly but I don't even want to talk about the bloody thing. It was awful and I might've failed. The pain. I went back to the history department with my sheet after and the guy phenaggled on the computer and said I should have been registered cus everything else was fine but that I just wasn't given a seat. So it wasn't really my fault and I felt a little better knowing I wasn't that useless.

I came home and made a wonderful dinner--salmon with spinach and beans and asparagus with a lemon/oil/mustard sauce and had most of a bottle of white wine by myself. Was drunk. Barely slept last night and I feel like Night of the Living Dead right now...a bit headachey, could barely manage coffee and I went into the kitchen to chop a pepper and onion in order to make myself a scramble, which, while laying in bed sounded divine, but as soon as I was on my feet made me feel nauseated. So I played it safe with toast and peanut butter. I am completely done with school here and now have the next three and a half weeks to enjoy, wholly and completely. It's really strange to me that Kalamazoo is a tangible thing. I don't really want to think about it. :(

Also, I'm going to be a dope and reflect on my time with T, who visited me for a week and is returning for a night tomorrow before going home. It was nice to be out and explore London again, but this time from a perspective that I actually knew what I was doing. We caught up in Trafalgar Square and at my Costa out in the bright sunshine. We went to the National Gallery where I saw Sunflowers again and it made me happy again and we wanted the tie of it so badly but everything is so bloody expensive. We did Westminster Abbey a week after the wedding, which was super cool. Waiting in line for half an hour talking about music and then seeing all the old kings' burial areas. And poet's corner! So amazing. The British Museum inspiring in us the need to see the Mummy and The Mummy Returns...although we were ADD and didn't finish either of them. We got cocktails at a jazz place and had a moment with the bassist because we appreciated their music and let them know it. We went to Camden. We played Puerto Rico twice--he killed me once, and then I did. We went to Cambridge and had SO MUCH FUN punting with Chris, Theresa, and Sarah. Cambridge is beautiful in spring btw. Got tea and scones for so cheap at a lovely little place in Soho. And we went to the Tate Modern, where we stood in front of things and I just gaped at how bullshit everything was and T had to pull me back from racing through as a result. We sat in a Starbucks at Bankside essentially and I lost myself until I stood up and looked through the window to see a bridge over the Thames, forgetting where I was. There were definite rough times, but I'm glad that I got to share a bit of London with one of my best friends.

And now I think I'll stay in my pajamas for most of the day. Do need to pop in Costcutter for some things. Want another cup of coffee but my milk expired so I poured it out. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Want new music...