Ok, we are at one and a half days left in London. Last night was my going away party. For some reason, I had debilitating cramps that struck like mid-afternoon, so little do my party-goers know that I spent like three hours fetal on my bed prior to dinner. I made one trip out to Sainsbury's for milk, blueberries and bananas. Proceeded home to eat all of the blueberries then return to fetal position and listen to a podcast. By the time I needed to leave for dinner they had subsided somewhat. I finally did the thing that I had always been paranoid about: I took us the wrong direction on the tube so we ended up in Bermondsey and had to turn around. There were major delays and reroutings and all this shit so we were really late. But happening of happenings we ran into Emilie at Waterloo and were 20 min late, much to Larissa's chagrin. But we were served promptly at Cafe Pacifico, though this time around the service was really lacking. My food was good and we got back to Borough right as the shindig was supposed to start.
Argula was there and obvi Larissa and Greg were with me so we got drinks (I got Pimms for the first time!!--it was fruity and good but outrageously expensive) and headed to the back and started playing Scrabble. Charli and Matt ended up coming and because they had been at the match all day, they were a bit to the side and tired so I talked with them for awhile and talked to Lauren as well. It was meant to be a sort of pub crawl, but it was ten before we rounded up the troops to move on to Slug and Lettuce. I hadn't realized it was going to be the last time I was going to see Charli, so that hit me kind of hard and I kept hugging her and trying not to cry.
We moved on to Slug and got cocktails and generally chatted around and stuff. It was rather nice and hyper, etc. They ended up kicking us out basically cus they were closing so most people went off and I let Chris and Theresa into mine and went up to Hampstead. We barely made the last tube, as the gate at Borough was nearly closed. Raced down the stairs to the platform and got off at Hampstead station and had to walk fifteen minutes to halls. I was dead but we still watched Doctor Who before I very nearly passed out. I had to pee at like 3:30 in the morning and I didn't have shorts but I figured, who would I run into? So I went to the bathroom in my t-shirt and let me tell you, and I will quote myself, the girls who live on that floor are dogs. My god, those toilets last weekend were blocked up with disgusting (literal) shit. I had to pee so badly so I tried flushing one this time and nothing happened and since there was urine all over the seat, I moved on to the next one, which had a pile of turds on top of lots of toilet paper. Choking back my gag reflex, I tried flushing it twice and when nothing happened, lined the seat with toilet paper and squat-peed. Gross gross gross.
Anyway, I'm now home, feeling disgusting again cus it was hot yesterday and I need a shower and to brush my teeth. I have to go back up to Hampstead for a picnic, and then I really need to start packing tonight cus tomorrow I'm going to Joe's one more time, then I need to close out my account, and then the rest of the day is going to be packing and tying up the loose ends here. I am so ready to be home, but I know it's going to be a hard change. My plan is to smother my niece with love and affection (same for my brudda and Ash-Bash), spend oodles of time with my mum in the first few days, retail therapy, catching up with people at home, and becoming reacquainted with my room/space. Ahhh Panera, Target, Waterstreet, Meijer's, Kohl's, etc. YOU WILL BE MINE.
To all my British friends/friends I've made here: Please, if you're ever in America come visit me. For real. Also, stay in touch. Also my skype is poodlefactory. Also, I love you. ^.^
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I am progressing through a dairy milk bar larger than my hand.
Fatass is an Americanism. I have less than a week here.
On Sunday I went to the Geffrye Museum of interiors. "That museum was not...enlivening." Couldn't be put in a more British way. But I liked it. It was a series of period rooms from 1600 to the 1990s, like basically the dining/social room of the house, what materials were at the time, who used the room and for what. It was ok. It was a nice day. Then I ate at McDonald's and really felt like the worst American ever. Like it was actually a little painful. Literally nothing else was open because it was in the business district and most of the places close up at the weekends because there are no suits there to buy anything. Then I went all the way to Brixton for vegan cupcakes with Nina, Argula, and one of Nina's classmates. The cupcakes were good. I bought two coffee and walnut (which was probably my favorite), one triple chocolate, and one black forest something. I ate three of them, two in one day. So yeah, Monday. I stayed in my pajamas all day eating nothing but cheese and sweets all day. I watched so much Community and read a LOT. Boy, I smelled by the end. I was ready for a shower.
Yesterday Larissa and I met up again for John Soane's but before that we were hungry so I made her bypass Pret to go to this place called Pod, which was kind of funny because of my previous day's eating I had decided to detox and that I needed more vegetables and that was all what Pod was about. I was saving myself for Mexican food later (or so I thought), so I just bought carrots and hummus, wiping my finger around the bottom to get all the rest of the hummus. Larissa got a soba, which was a soup, but really translated to random vegetable (like spinach!) floating around in a broth. After my hummus snack was purchased, I had noticed a "breakfast pot" of yogurt, quinoa, mango, mango puree, agave, and almonds, and so I had to go back up and get that. It was quite nice. Larissa and I ended up trading the breakfast pot and the soba as she was soba'd out. I then made the tragic mistake of chomping down on a red chili, after which I proceeded to cry a little bit while frantically running my finger around container of yogurt in order to cease the fire that raged on my tongue and in my throat. I gulped down loads of water and it wasn't until Larissa gave me some gum that it began to wane. We then headed to the museum.
Simply put, Sir John Soane's Museum is one of the coolest places I've been to in London. The museum is actually his house, near Holborn, where he collected loads of things and then donated it when he died, always wanting to share it. The house is a gem in the middle of central London. We were amazed at how much space it occupied. Four to five floors. Walls covered in bookshelves, beautiful chair dots the room with feathers placed on them to protect them from curious asses. the ground floor held a small study/dressing room which faced this central garden thing with a monument where the wife's dog is buried. And the back rooms (I wanted to know what they had actually been used for) were just filled with Roman ruins, statues, etc. Tiny hallways twisted and turned in mazes. The ground floor held the sarcophagus of Seti I. We were only able to go up like one or two floors above the ground. One room was bright yellow, like a small lounge room, with gorgeous views of the park opposite and then a smaller room which was the shop where I bought four postcards that showed the character of the rooms. I was disappointed that we could not go any higher into his personal bedrooms because they were being renovated or something.
Now go watch Community.
On Sunday I went to the Geffrye Museum of interiors. "That museum was not...enlivening." Couldn't be put in a more British way. But I liked it. It was a series of period rooms from 1600 to the 1990s, like basically the dining/social room of the house, what materials were at the time, who used the room and for what. It was ok. It was a nice day. Then I ate at McDonald's and really felt like the worst American ever. Like it was actually a little painful. Literally nothing else was open because it was in the business district and most of the places close up at the weekends because there are no suits there to buy anything. Then I went all the way to Brixton for vegan cupcakes with Nina, Argula, and one of Nina's classmates. The cupcakes were good. I bought two coffee and walnut (which was probably my favorite), one triple chocolate, and one black forest something. I ate three of them, two in one day. So yeah, Monday. I stayed in my pajamas all day eating nothing but cheese and sweets all day. I watched so much Community and read a LOT. Boy, I smelled by the end. I was ready for a shower.
Yesterday Larissa and I met up again for John Soane's but before that we were hungry so I made her bypass Pret to go to this place called Pod, which was kind of funny because of my previous day's eating I had decided to detox and that I needed more vegetables and that was all what Pod was about. I was saving myself for Mexican food later (or so I thought), so I just bought carrots and hummus, wiping my finger around the bottom to get all the rest of the hummus. Larissa got a soba, which was a soup, but really translated to random vegetable (like spinach!) floating around in a broth. After my hummus snack was purchased, I had noticed a "breakfast pot" of yogurt, quinoa, mango, mango puree, agave, and almonds, and so I had to go back up and get that. It was quite nice. Larissa and I ended up trading the breakfast pot and the soba as she was soba'd out. I then made the tragic mistake of chomping down on a red chili, after which I proceeded to cry a little bit while frantically running my finger around container of yogurt in order to cease the fire that raged on my tongue and in my throat. I gulped down loads of water and it wasn't until Larissa gave me some gum that it began to wane. We then headed to the museum.
Simply put, Sir John Soane's Museum is one of the coolest places I've been to in London. The museum is actually his house, near Holborn, where he collected loads of things and then donated it when he died, always wanting to share it. The house is a gem in the middle of central London. We were amazed at how much space it occupied. Four to five floors. Walls covered in bookshelves, beautiful chair dots the room with feathers placed on them to protect them from curious asses. the ground floor held a small study/dressing room which faced this central garden thing with a monument where the wife's dog is buried. And the back rooms (I wanted to know what they had actually been used for) were just filled with Roman ruins, statues, etc. Tiny hallways twisted and turned in mazes. The ground floor held the sarcophagus of Seti I. We were only able to go up like one or two floors above the ground. One room was bright yellow, like a small lounge room, with gorgeous views of the park opposite and then a smaller room which was the shop where I bought four postcards that showed the character of the rooms. I was disappointed that we could not go any higher into his personal bedrooms because they were being renovated or something.
Now go watch Community.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
good morning
Went back into the slump of cooped up in room and broke out of it yesterday. Went to Starbucks first thing yesterday and sat there for an hour writing. I will never be that cliche again...writing was good though. We walked over Millenium Bridge by St. Paul's, up Fleet Street to Aldwych and caught a bus. Planned on going to Camden but then it didn't seem appealing when it came around so we went all the way up to Hampstead and walked to halls from there. Ate food and took the tube back down. There was a big match on so people were coming back from it all drunk and stomping on the tube and it was the most packed I've ever seen it starting at Finchley Road. People kept replacing other people and being squished into a corner and a man who looked like a tanner version of Sascha Baron Cohen. It was good to be around London and be out of mine for like six hours because it gets really cramped and annoying and bland to be stuck here all day. Got BBQ pizza and watched Doctor Who. The latter part of the episode was like, "Wait, what the fuck is going on?" Then watched Graham and went to bed early and didn't sleep well and have been awake since 7:30. It's now nearly ten...what to do with the day? I skyped with Mum yesterday who chastised me again about not taking pictures and I thought about that yesterday when I was walking around cus there were a bunch of random things I would have taken pictures of so maybe I'll just carry around my camera for the last week I'm here and take pictures of everything I find interesting even if you don't find it interesting...
Yesterday I was at a loss at where to go exactly and I had this feeling like I had gotten the most out of London that I can right now with where I'm at. Unless I had oodles of money lol. Cus really, all there is to do is to like, go out clubbing or drinking at night. It's not like America, like Kalamazoo, where we can pop into Target and look around and not buy anything or go to Meijer's really late or something cus everything closes. But don't get me wrong. There are still surprises to be had, etc. and I still reconnect with London when I least expect it. :)
Yesterday I was at a loss at where to go exactly and I had this feeling like I had gotten the most out of London that I can right now with where I'm at. Unless I had oodles of money lol. Cus really, all there is to do is to like, go out clubbing or drinking at night. It's not like America, like Kalamazoo, where we can pop into Target and look around and not buy anything or go to Meijer's really late or something cus everything closes. But don't get me wrong. There are still surprises to be had, etc. and I still reconnect with London when I least expect it. :)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
hey again
I feel like there's not been a lot to report. The weather's been niceish. Walking on bankside is my new thing. Going to Starbucks too much. Reading The Seance. On Sunday Alison hosted a small "tea" in our flat--lots of fresh fruit, homemade cookies and cake, tea, etc. Larissa came. It was pretty chill and nice. Larissa and I were supposed to go to John Soane's Museum on Monday but we showed up only to find out it's not open on Mondays! So we went to this Mexican restaurant called Chilango's where I just got some chips and guac. Then we went and rated joggers on the embankment before going home and then I trekked all the way up to Hampstead to get pizza.
Today was another pretty nice day but essay collection. I passed, which is what's important. The best thing though and that made everything the best is that I got another A on Creative Writing and she really liked my stuff and told me to "keep going" !!! I am going to her queer poetry reading tomorrow night. Got coffee and then went shopping. Next and H&M. Then back for third year essays then home to FAJITAS. But my homemade guac had gone bad hence the disgusting smell emanating from my fridge...gross. Mmmm, I am restless. Kind of want to read, so maybe will go do that. Getting tea with Nina while we're both still in London this week. Ahhhh! (real monsters) I sincerely hope you're doing ok, reading good books, smiling, enjoying Michigan, enjoying life cus you're a wonderful person.
Today was another pretty nice day but essay collection. I passed, which is what's important. The best thing though and that made everything the best is that I got another A on Creative Writing and she really liked my stuff and told me to "keep going" !!! I am going to her queer poetry reading tomorrow night. Got coffee and then went shopping. Next and H&M. Then back for third year essays then home to FAJITAS. But my homemade guac had gone bad hence the disgusting smell emanating from my fridge...gross. Mmmm, I am restless. Kind of want to read, so maybe will go do that. Getting tea with Nina while we're both still in London this week. Ahhhh! (real monsters) I sincerely hope you're doing ok, reading good books, smiling, enjoying Michigan, enjoying life cus you're a wonderful person.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
hey
Feel like typing, feel like being outside. First time I've gotten properly dressed and stuff before 1pm in like five days...went to the library and it's GORGEOUS outside. I shaved last night so I am wearing a proper skirt and stuff, although it's a short one (for me) and there were nearly some hoo-hah mishaps on the sidewalk.
So basically the biggest thing to report is I went to this sexual health clinic the other day (don't freak out or assume that I'm a whore, etc.; I'm really telling this for the awkward factor--), and before I was led into the examination room, the doctor was like, "Oh, there's a medical student observing today, is that ok? Otherwise I'll ask him to leave." And I just thought, "Why the hell not, whatever," so gave my permission. And in America, if the doctor is a male, a female nurse is required to be present. Apparently not here? The doctor was rather handsome, but I wasn't really concerned with that, more so with ascertaining that my IUD was fine. So after asking me all the usual questions, during which I ignored the medical student because he was sitting to my other side, the doctor stepped out for a minute and then I made small talk with the medical student. The doctor came back fast so our small talk ceased suddenly and then I had to undress and stirrup it up. Then a nurse stepped into the room, but it was a gay male nurse, who briefly told me that they were going to make sure that the swabs were taken in the correct place. And then it was spread eagle for male doctor, medical student awkwardly hovering near my vag, gay male nurse wherever he was. Did their business and then I got dressed again but I had thought everyone had left the room, but when I moved the curtain back the medical student was there and then I sat and made more small talk with him, like he didn't just see all my junk. But surprisingly, I didn't even care. Weird, E.
That's the most notable thing in my life this past week. I think I want to spend part of this afternoon on bankside...
So basically the biggest thing to report is I went to this sexual health clinic the other day (don't freak out or assume that I'm a whore, etc.; I'm really telling this for the awkward factor--), and before I was led into the examination room, the doctor was like, "Oh, there's a medical student observing today, is that ok? Otherwise I'll ask him to leave." And I just thought, "Why the hell not, whatever," so gave my permission. And in America, if the doctor is a male, a female nurse is required to be present. Apparently not here? The doctor was rather handsome, but I wasn't really concerned with that, more so with ascertaining that my IUD was fine. So after asking me all the usual questions, during which I ignored the medical student because he was sitting to my other side, the doctor stepped out for a minute and then I made small talk with the medical student. The doctor came back fast so our small talk ceased suddenly and then I had to undress and stirrup it up. Then a nurse stepped into the room, but it was a gay male nurse, who briefly told me that they were going to make sure that the swabs were taken in the correct place. And then it was spread eagle for male doctor, medical student awkwardly hovering near my vag, gay male nurse wherever he was. Did their business and then I got dressed again but I had thought everyone had left the room, but when I moved the curtain back the medical student was there and then I sat and made more small talk with him, like he didn't just see all my junk. But surprisingly, I didn't even care. Weird, E.
That's the most notable thing in my life this past week. I think I want to spend part of this afternoon on bankside...
Saturday, May 14, 2011
been too long
I apologize for not having written in here in so long. It's been a crazy month. And by crazy basically I mean that I slacked off until the last minute about essays, spent the final week in the library all the time and crying a lot over emotional things. Then I fucked off for about a week and a half and didn't study until the last minute for history cus I'm stupid. Took that exam yesterday and it was a huge mess. Showed up like 20 min early and it wasn't until ten min after that that I thought to check my seat number. Wasn't on list...raced down to computer lab and wasn't listed on my student records although I had gotten all the e-mails saying I was taking the exam. Decided that if all else failed, I could just do a mitigating circumstances form and resit the exam. Went up to history department, trying hard not to cry at the guy who was working in the office, explained the situation, he tells me to just go back down and they would register me there and to go back after. Two minutes to spare, I took all the stairs from the 8th floor to the ground and ran into the exam just as it was beginning. Everything went smoothly but I don't even want to talk about the bloody thing. It was awful and I might've failed. The pain. I went back to the history department with my sheet after and the guy phenaggled on the computer and said I should have been registered cus everything else was fine but that I just wasn't given a seat. So it wasn't really my fault and I felt a little better knowing I wasn't that useless.
I came home and made a wonderful dinner--salmon with spinach and beans and asparagus with a lemon/oil/mustard sauce and had most of a bottle of white wine by myself. Was drunk. Barely slept last night and I feel like Night of the Living Dead right now...a bit headachey, could barely manage coffee and I went into the kitchen to chop a pepper and onion in order to make myself a scramble, which, while laying in bed sounded divine, but as soon as I was on my feet made me feel nauseated. So I played it safe with toast and peanut butter. I am completely done with school here and now have the next three and a half weeks to enjoy, wholly and completely. It's really strange to me that Kalamazoo is a tangible thing. I don't really want to think about it. :(
Also, I'm going to be a dope and reflect on my time with T, who visited me for a week and is returning for a night tomorrow before going home. It was nice to be out and explore London again, but this time from a perspective that I actually knew what I was doing. We caught up in Trafalgar Square and at my Costa out in the bright sunshine. We went to the National Gallery where I saw Sunflowers again and it made me happy again and we wanted the tie of it so badly but everything is so bloody expensive. We did Westminster Abbey a week after the wedding, which was super cool. Waiting in line for half an hour talking about music and then seeing all the old kings' burial areas. And poet's corner! So amazing. The British Museum inspiring in us the need to see the Mummy and The Mummy Returns...although we were ADD and didn't finish either of them. We got cocktails at a jazz place and had a moment with the bassist because we appreciated their music and let them know it. We went to Camden. We played Puerto Rico twice--he killed me once, and then I did. We went to Cambridge and had SO MUCH FUN punting with Chris, Theresa, and Sarah. Cambridge is beautiful in spring btw. Got tea and scones for so cheap at a lovely little place in Soho. And we went to the Tate Modern, where we stood in front of things and I just gaped at how bullshit everything was and T had to pull me back from racing through as a result. We sat in a Starbucks at Bankside essentially and I lost myself until I stood up and looked through the window to see a bridge over the Thames, forgetting where I was. There were definite rough times, but I'm glad that I got to share a bit of London with one of my best friends.
And now I think I'll stay in my pajamas for most of the day. Do need to pop in Costcutter for some things. Want another cup of coffee but my milk expired so I poured it out. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Want new music...
I came home and made a wonderful dinner--salmon with spinach and beans and asparagus with a lemon/oil/mustard sauce and had most of a bottle of white wine by myself. Was drunk. Barely slept last night and I feel like Night of the Living Dead right now...a bit headachey, could barely manage coffee and I went into the kitchen to chop a pepper and onion in order to make myself a scramble, which, while laying in bed sounded divine, but as soon as I was on my feet made me feel nauseated. So I played it safe with toast and peanut butter. I am completely done with school here and now have the next three and a half weeks to enjoy, wholly and completely. It's really strange to me that Kalamazoo is a tangible thing. I don't really want to think about it. :(
Also, I'm going to be a dope and reflect on my time with T, who visited me for a week and is returning for a night tomorrow before going home. It was nice to be out and explore London again, but this time from a perspective that I actually knew what I was doing. We caught up in Trafalgar Square and at my Costa out in the bright sunshine. We went to the National Gallery where I saw Sunflowers again and it made me happy again and we wanted the tie of it so badly but everything is so bloody expensive. We did Westminster Abbey a week after the wedding, which was super cool. Waiting in line for half an hour talking about music and then seeing all the old kings' burial areas. And poet's corner! So amazing. The British Museum inspiring in us the need to see the Mummy and The Mummy Returns...although we were ADD and didn't finish either of them. We got cocktails at a jazz place and had a moment with the bassist because we appreciated their music and let them know it. We went to Camden. We played Puerto Rico twice--he killed me once, and then I did. We went to Cambridge and had SO MUCH FUN punting with Chris, Theresa, and Sarah. Cambridge is beautiful in spring btw. Got tea and scones for so cheap at a lovely little place in Soho. And we went to the Tate Modern, where we stood in front of things and I just gaped at how bullshit everything was and T had to pull me back from racing through as a result. We sat in a Starbucks at Bankside essentially and I lost myself until I stood up and looked through the window to see a bridge over the Thames, forgetting where I was. There were definite rough times, but I'm glad that I got to share a bit of London with one of my best friends.
And now I think I'll stay in my pajamas for most of the day. Do need to pop in Costcutter for some things. Want another cup of coffee but my milk expired so I poured it out. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Want new music...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
sadface
So basically, Niko left and Michelle is leaving in five days. I am not ready for this. I am not ready to feel alone, without my support group here, without the people who tell me that I'm crazy in a comforting way when I have hypochondriac moments and need to express them to someone. I am honestly scared of being by myself...maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't alone in the flat. Most of the time being alone here is amazing cus I can make as much noise as I want, prop my door open, go to the kitchen in my underwear, etc. But sometimes at night it gets really lonely and too quiet. And then the nervousness sets in. I don't know, I'm just scared of being by myself, the same childish shit that bothers me as usual.
And...I can't deal with the pressure from both sides. ... ........ major dot dot dot situation. Major...goes into homesickness and also not wanting to leave. I am ready to have summer at home. Going to Target for no reason and looking at the clothes and shit I don't need. And going to coffee. And being bored at night in Kalamazoo. But that's where it gets sticky...I am not the same person I was. Rather, maybe I am but with a different set of people...I don't know. I miss home. I miss the places. But I don't want to leave yet. What if I don't come back?
I guess I will talk about the positive. I know that I have made some wonderful friendships while I'm here and while it makes me really sad to leave them, I'm glad for the time and I know that they will continue somehow. Robyn and I have been talking a lot lately and that's been really nice. I guess that makes me feel less alone when I stay up later than I intend shooting the shit with her and at least five times majorly laughing out loud into this empty flat out of pure hilarity and joy. Lesson: that girl cracks me up. And there are moments when I talk to her (and to others) and just have to cry because I don't know what I'm going to do without access to them in my day-to-day life. Augh, I'm at that point. But even writing the good has made things better. I just need a go to person who is going to be reassuring once Michelle isn't there to call my bluff. I will be holding auditions for the role. x.
And...I can't deal with the pressure from both sides. ... ........ major dot dot dot situation. Major...goes into homesickness and also not wanting to leave. I am ready to have summer at home. Going to Target for no reason and looking at the clothes and shit I don't need. And going to coffee. And being bored at night in Kalamazoo. But that's where it gets sticky...I am not the same person I was. Rather, maybe I am but with a different set of people...I don't know. I miss home. I miss the places. But I don't want to leave yet. What if I don't come back?
I guess I will talk about the positive. I know that I have made some wonderful friendships while I'm here and while it makes me really sad to leave them, I'm glad for the time and I know that they will continue somehow. Robyn and I have been talking a lot lately and that's been really nice. I guess that makes me feel less alone when I stay up later than I intend shooting the shit with her and at least five times majorly laughing out loud into this empty flat out of pure hilarity and joy. Lesson: that girl cracks me up. And there are moments when I talk to her (and to others) and just have to cry because I don't know what I'm going to do without access to them in my day-to-day life. Augh, I'm at that point. But even writing the good has made things better. I just need a go to person who is going to be reassuring once Michelle isn't there to call my bluff. I will be holding auditions for the role. x.
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