Emosity

Hiya! Welcome to my world.

Today I woke up too early due to all the slamming doors on my hall. I laid in bed until my alarm, comfortable in my cocoon of warmth and thought. Sat around for two hours as I don't have class. I had made a plan last night that I was going to walk around on my own today, even though in the daylight that kind of terrified me. Before I left my room I was panicking a little bit, but at least I knew that I didn't have to wait on other people and that if I wanted to stop, I could just go home. I did one of the walks in the book my mum bought for me that took me around Southwark, where I live. It gave me new appreciation for the sights I walk by each day. I saw a graveyard, a beautiful park/garden, the original site of the Globe, and I paid to view an old operating theatre that is located in the roof of a church a few streets away. The theatre was from before the time of anesthesia and the idea of a sterile environment. There was also an herb garret, with all different samples telling what they were used for. There were surgical instruments, too--lots of forceps for midwifery and a rather frightening cervical dilator. Augh. The whole thing was accessed by a frighteningly narrow spiral staircase and I held onto the rope going up the middle like my life depended on it (which it sort of did).
After that mini adventure, I came home and did not for two hours again. Today was just a depressing day for sitting around cus I suppose I am getting a bit sick of it finally. Staring at the computer for so long. I caught the shuttle to Waterloo after having another brief panic, but it was the cool busdriver. I ran into Michelle, who had been at Strand since 9am, who didn't want to turn around again to go to the History welcome party. I trudged on and signed up for a library tour on Friday. I also learned that indeed, history classes do not meet this week. Then I sat while the party was being set up and because there were two people who were talking near me, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to them for a bit. I had also met two "buddies" for first years who are both on the board for the history society in the elevator and so I said hi to the girl who I saw again. Then, seeing as the one girl I had talked to had dispersed and I had met a "buddy" who I will see again this Friday for the haunted tour of London, I left. I grabbed the RV1 home and made soup and sat in the kitchen staring off into space even though three of my flatmates were there. I'm really struggling with a thing right now and it kind of hit me a little bit when I was waiting for the party to start. I remembered a really happy memory and it's weird how something like that, even though you're on this great adventure in London of all places, can make you feel so incredibly isolated. I guess time is the only way to heal this thing, although the thought of it healing completely scares me. Augh, my life.
In other good news though, Sexpression e-mailed out and there is a lot of good stuff happening in the next two days that I hope to make it to. Also, training weekend is coming up in October so I am going to do that. They are going to teach me how to teach sexual education and then I get to go out and do that in South London schools. My flatmates tell me that teenage pregnancy is a huge problem here so I will be doing good! Also, I am watching the new eppy of the Inbetweeners tonight with Katherine and Arun!