Rejuvenation

   Something has clicked. It was somewhere between just being at Waterfront last night and something Cathy said to me, but something has changed. My main goal is no longer just to get through the next few months so I can go home, but now I feel sad that I know I leave so soon. I was doing things that made me happy. I am a legitimate person in the world. Meeting and talking to new people. Going to a school where they throw parties for residence halls with free shots advertised. Participating in a sexy pub quiz and just being in freaking London. I guess I had been thinking a lot about being here and it was really Cathy who acted as the universe to let me articulate how I feel. She asked me (I think) what was the best thing about being here and what was the worst. And I answered that the best thing about London is that you can find all these little niche things because it's such a huge place, there's something for everyone. Like there's this exhibit right now at the National Theatre called "Angelheaded Hipsters" and it's like pictures of Beat poets and pictures that Ginsberg took. There are fetish clubs. There is food from everywhere. The bad thing, I answered, was that I missed nature, and I guess that implies a sense of calm somehow. Like you can't just go for a walk because it's city--there are tiny sidewalks everyone and people, people, people. And if you wanted to go to a park you'd have to travel a ways to get there, and doing so would not always be safe depending on the time and area. It was interesting to finally be able to pinpoint these things.

   Last night was my first ever pub quiz and it just felt good to be part of something. To know that sexual health is super important and we were getting people to test for STIs and we were handing out condoms and there was a good sense of power in education. Our team did not place but we had a good time. I had two Sex on the Beach(es) and even though I had only shared a plate of chips for dinner with Cathy, I was not feeling it. I was ready to stop when she sort of turned to me and was like, "Ohhh, let's get another!" So I got a pint of this strawberry-lime cider which was good and then I felt it. It felt so GOOD to just let loose after working for five weekends and feeling down and like a shut-in. It feels good to have things to look forward to. We got the tube home and split up at the stairs cus we were catching opposite branches of the Northern line and I got to the platform and then realized that, hey, that girl looks like Cathy and it was her. Kind of funny. Went home and just felt alive. And I would like to note that it was my first good night's sleep in nearly a week.

   Today I did my last bit of SHAG week volunteering and everyone was shitting themselves because the tv show Embarrassing Bodies was at King's to film. They were in Waterfront while we were there filming rugby players (who were later going to be getting tested). Cathy was shitting herself cus the famous doctor guy was right there and he just plainly chatted to us. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay, cus I had to meet Chris for lunch. And that in itself was great. We went to Tas on Borough High Street, which is a Turkish restaurant and got the menu where we got a starter, main course and dessert for only 7 pounds. It was good to see someone from home who knows the ins and outs of me and who totally calls my bullshit worrying (and who told me not to worry). It was nice to catch up, as I hadn't seen him since November.

   So overall I think I've got a things under my belt now to tide me through. It's my last weekend of work. Then I am sharing a bottle of wine with Nina, having a pancake party with Robyn, maybe going to a fetish club, and who knows what else could be in store? Lots of museums for sure.