Ok, we are at one and a half days left in London. Last night was my going away party. For some reason, I had debilitating cramps that struck like mid-afternoon, so little do my party-goers know that I spent like three hours fetal on my bed prior to dinner. I made one trip out to Sainsbury's for milk, blueberries and bananas. Proceeded home to eat all of the blueberries then return to fetal position and listen to a podcast. By the time I needed to leave for dinner they had subsided somewhat. I finally did the thing that I had always been paranoid about: I took us the wrong direction on the tube so we ended up in Bermondsey and had to turn around. There were major delays and reroutings and all this shit so we were really late. But happening of happenings we ran into Emilie at Waterloo and were 20 min late, much to Larissa's chagrin. But we were served promptly at Cafe Pacifico, though this time around the service was really lacking. My food was good and we got back to Borough right as the shindig was supposed to start.
Argula was there and obvi Larissa and Greg were with me so we got drinks (I got Pimms for the first time!!--it was fruity and good but outrageously expensive) and headed to the back and started playing Scrabble. Charli and Matt ended up coming and because they had been at the match all day, they were a bit to the side and tired so I talked with them for awhile and talked to Lauren as well. It was meant to be a sort of pub crawl, but it was ten before we rounded up the troops to move on to Slug and Lettuce. I hadn't realized it was going to be the last time I was going to see Charli, so that hit me kind of hard and I kept hugging her and trying not to cry.
We moved on to Slug and got cocktails and generally chatted around and stuff. It was rather nice and hyper, etc. They ended up kicking us out basically cus they were closing so most people went off and I let Chris and Theresa into mine and went up to Hampstead. We barely made the last tube, as the gate at Borough was nearly closed. Raced down the stairs to the platform and got off at Hampstead station and had to walk fifteen minutes to halls. I was dead but we still watched Doctor Who before I very nearly passed out. I had to pee at like 3:30 in the morning and I didn't have shorts but I figured, who would I run into? So I went to the bathroom in my t-shirt and let me tell you, and I will quote myself, the girls who live on that floor are dogs. My god, those toilets last weekend were blocked up with disgusting (literal) shit. I had to pee so badly so I tried flushing one this time and nothing happened and since there was urine all over the seat, I moved on to the next one, which had a pile of turds on top of lots of toilet paper. Choking back my gag reflex, I tried flushing it twice and when nothing happened, lined the seat with toilet paper and squat-peed. Gross gross gross.
Anyway, I'm now home, feeling disgusting again cus it was hot yesterday and I need a shower and to brush my teeth. I have to go back up to Hampstead for a picnic, and then I really need to start packing tonight cus tomorrow I'm going to Joe's one more time, then I need to close out my account, and then the rest of the day is going to be packing and tying up the loose ends here. I am so ready to be home, but I know it's going to be a hard change. My plan is to smother my niece with love and affection (same for my brudda and Ash-Bash), spend oodles of time with my mum in the first few days, retail therapy, catching up with people at home, and becoming reacquainted with my room/space. Ahhh Panera, Target, Waterstreet, Meijer's, Kohl's, etc. YOU WILL BE MINE.
To all my British friends/friends I've made here: Please, if you're ever in America come visit me. For real. Also, stay in touch. Also my skype is poodlefactory. Also, I love you. ^.^
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I am progressing through a dairy milk bar larger than my hand.
Fatass is an Americanism. I have less than a week here.
On Sunday I went to the Geffrye Museum of interiors. "That museum was not...enlivening." Couldn't be put in a more British way. But I liked it. It was a series of period rooms from 1600 to the 1990s, like basically the dining/social room of the house, what materials were at the time, who used the room and for what. It was ok. It was a nice day. Then I ate at McDonald's and really felt like the worst American ever. Like it was actually a little painful. Literally nothing else was open because it was in the business district and most of the places close up at the weekends because there are no suits there to buy anything. Then I went all the way to Brixton for vegan cupcakes with Nina, Argula, and one of Nina's classmates. The cupcakes were good. I bought two coffee and walnut (which was probably my favorite), one triple chocolate, and one black forest something. I ate three of them, two in one day. So yeah, Monday. I stayed in my pajamas all day eating nothing but cheese and sweets all day. I watched so much Community and read a LOT. Boy, I smelled by the end. I was ready for a shower.
Yesterday Larissa and I met up again for John Soane's but before that we were hungry so I made her bypass Pret to go to this place called Pod, which was kind of funny because of my previous day's eating I had decided to detox and that I needed more vegetables and that was all what Pod was about. I was saving myself for Mexican food later (or so I thought), so I just bought carrots and hummus, wiping my finger around the bottom to get all the rest of the hummus. Larissa got a soba, which was a soup, but really translated to random vegetable (like spinach!) floating around in a broth. After my hummus snack was purchased, I had noticed a "breakfast pot" of yogurt, quinoa, mango, mango puree, agave, and almonds, and so I had to go back up and get that. It was quite nice. Larissa and I ended up trading the breakfast pot and the soba as she was soba'd out. I then made the tragic mistake of chomping down on a red chili, after which I proceeded to cry a little bit while frantically running my finger around container of yogurt in order to cease the fire that raged on my tongue and in my throat. I gulped down loads of water and it wasn't until Larissa gave me some gum that it began to wane. We then headed to the museum.
Simply put, Sir John Soane's Museum is one of the coolest places I've been to in London. The museum is actually his house, near Holborn, where he collected loads of things and then donated it when he died, always wanting to share it. The house is a gem in the middle of central London. We were amazed at how much space it occupied. Four to five floors. Walls covered in bookshelves, beautiful chair dots the room with feathers placed on them to protect them from curious asses. the ground floor held a small study/dressing room which faced this central garden thing with a monument where the wife's dog is buried. And the back rooms (I wanted to know what they had actually been used for) were just filled with Roman ruins, statues, etc. Tiny hallways twisted and turned in mazes. The ground floor held the sarcophagus of Seti I. We were only able to go up like one or two floors above the ground. One room was bright yellow, like a small lounge room, with gorgeous views of the park opposite and then a smaller room which was the shop where I bought four postcards that showed the character of the rooms. I was disappointed that we could not go any higher into his personal bedrooms because they were being renovated or something.
Now go watch Community.
On Sunday I went to the Geffrye Museum of interiors. "That museum was not...enlivening." Couldn't be put in a more British way. But I liked it. It was a series of period rooms from 1600 to the 1990s, like basically the dining/social room of the house, what materials were at the time, who used the room and for what. It was ok. It was a nice day. Then I ate at McDonald's and really felt like the worst American ever. Like it was actually a little painful. Literally nothing else was open because it was in the business district and most of the places close up at the weekends because there are no suits there to buy anything. Then I went all the way to Brixton for vegan cupcakes with Nina, Argula, and one of Nina's classmates. The cupcakes were good. I bought two coffee and walnut (which was probably my favorite), one triple chocolate, and one black forest something. I ate three of them, two in one day. So yeah, Monday. I stayed in my pajamas all day eating nothing but cheese and sweets all day. I watched so much Community and read a LOT. Boy, I smelled by the end. I was ready for a shower.
Yesterday Larissa and I met up again for John Soane's but before that we were hungry so I made her bypass Pret to go to this place called Pod, which was kind of funny because of my previous day's eating I had decided to detox and that I needed more vegetables and that was all what Pod was about. I was saving myself for Mexican food later (or so I thought), so I just bought carrots and hummus, wiping my finger around the bottom to get all the rest of the hummus. Larissa got a soba, which was a soup, but really translated to random vegetable (like spinach!) floating around in a broth. After my hummus snack was purchased, I had noticed a "breakfast pot" of yogurt, quinoa, mango, mango puree, agave, and almonds, and so I had to go back up and get that. It was quite nice. Larissa and I ended up trading the breakfast pot and the soba as she was soba'd out. I then made the tragic mistake of chomping down on a red chili, after which I proceeded to cry a little bit while frantically running my finger around container of yogurt in order to cease the fire that raged on my tongue and in my throat. I gulped down loads of water and it wasn't until Larissa gave me some gum that it began to wane. We then headed to the museum.
Simply put, Sir John Soane's Museum is one of the coolest places I've been to in London. The museum is actually his house, near Holborn, where he collected loads of things and then donated it when he died, always wanting to share it. The house is a gem in the middle of central London. We were amazed at how much space it occupied. Four to five floors. Walls covered in bookshelves, beautiful chair dots the room with feathers placed on them to protect them from curious asses. the ground floor held a small study/dressing room which faced this central garden thing with a monument where the wife's dog is buried. And the back rooms (I wanted to know what they had actually been used for) were just filled with Roman ruins, statues, etc. Tiny hallways twisted and turned in mazes. The ground floor held the sarcophagus of Seti I. We were only able to go up like one or two floors above the ground. One room was bright yellow, like a small lounge room, with gorgeous views of the park opposite and then a smaller room which was the shop where I bought four postcards that showed the character of the rooms. I was disappointed that we could not go any higher into his personal bedrooms because they were being renovated or something.
Now go watch Community.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
good morning
Went back into the slump of cooped up in room and broke out of it yesterday. Went to Starbucks first thing yesterday and sat there for an hour writing. I will never be that cliche again...writing was good though. We walked over Millenium Bridge by St. Paul's, up Fleet Street to Aldwych and caught a bus. Planned on going to Camden but then it didn't seem appealing when it came around so we went all the way up to Hampstead and walked to halls from there. Ate food and took the tube back down. There was a big match on so people were coming back from it all drunk and stomping on the tube and it was the most packed I've ever seen it starting at Finchley Road. People kept replacing other people and being squished into a corner and a man who looked like a tanner version of Sascha Baron Cohen. It was good to be around London and be out of mine for like six hours because it gets really cramped and annoying and bland to be stuck here all day. Got BBQ pizza and watched Doctor Who. The latter part of the episode was like, "Wait, what the fuck is going on?" Then watched Graham and went to bed early and didn't sleep well and have been awake since 7:30. It's now nearly ten...what to do with the day? I skyped with Mum yesterday who chastised me again about not taking pictures and I thought about that yesterday when I was walking around cus there were a bunch of random things I would have taken pictures of so maybe I'll just carry around my camera for the last week I'm here and take pictures of everything I find interesting even if you don't find it interesting...
Yesterday I was at a loss at where to go exactly and I had this feeling like I had gotten the most out of London that I can right now with where I'm at. Unless I had oodles of money lol. Cus really, all there is to do is to like, go out clubbing or drinking at night. It's not like America, like Kalamazoo, where we can pop into Target and look around and not buy anything or go to Meijer's really late or something cus everything closes. But don't get me wrong. There are still surprises to be had, etc. and I still reconnect with London when I least expect it. :)
Yesterday I was at a loss at where to go exactly and I had this feeling like I had gotten the most out of London that I can right now with where I'm at. Unless I had oodles of money lol. Cus really, all there is to do is to like, go out clubbing or drinking at night. It's not like America, like Kalamazoo, where we can pop into Target and look around and not buy anything or go to Meijer's really late or something cus everything closes. But don't get me wrong. There are still surprises to be had, etc. and I still reconnect with London when I least expect it. :)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
hey again
I feel like there's not been a lot to report. The weather's been niceish. Walking on bankside is my new thing. Going to Starbucks too much. Reading The Seance. On Sunday Alison hosted a small "tea" in our flat--lots of fresh fruit, homemade cookies and cake, tea, etc. Larissa came. It was pretty chill and nice. Larissa and I were supposed to go to John Soane's Museum on Monday but we showed up only to find out it's not open on Mondays! So we went to this Mexican restaurant called Chilango's where I just got some chips and guac. Then we went and rated joggers on the embankment before going home and then I trekked all the way up to Hampstead to get pizza.
Today was another pretty nice day but essay collection. I passed, which is what's important. The best thing though and that made everything the best is that I got another A on Creative Writing and she really liked my stuff and told me to "keep going" !!! I am going to her queer poetry reading tomorrow night. Got coffee and then went shopping. Next and H&M. Then back for third year essays then home to FAJITAS. But my homemade guac had gone bad hence the disgusting smell emanating from my fridge...gross. Mmmm, I am restless. Kind of want to read, so maybe will go do that. Getting tea with Nina while we're both still in London this week. Ahhhh! (real monsters) I sincerely hope you're doing ok, reading good books, smiling, enjoying Michigan, enjoying life cus you're a wonderful person.
Today was another pretty nice day but essay collection. I passed, which is what's important. The best thing though and that made everything the best is that I got another A on Creative Writing and she really liked my stuff and told me to "keep going" !!! I am going to her queer poetry reading tomorrow night. Got coffee and then went shopping. Next and H&M. Then back for third year essays then home to FAJITAS. But my homemade guac had gone bad hence the disgusting smell emanating from my fridge...gross. Mmmm, I am restless. Kind of want to read, so maybe will go do that. Getting tea with Nina while we're both still in London this week. Ahhhh! (real monsters) I sincerely hope you're doing ok, reading good books, smiling, enjoying Michigan, enjoying life cus you're a wonderful person.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
hey
Feel like typing, feel like being outside. First time I've gotten properly dressed and stuff before 1pm in like five days...went to the library and it's GORGEOUS outside. I shaved last night so I am wearing a proper skirt and stuff, although it's a short one (for me) and there were nearly some hoo-hah mishaps on the sidewalk.
So basically the biggest thing to report is I went to this sexual health clinic the other day (don't freak out or assume that I'm a whore, etc.; I'm really telling this for the awkward factor--), and before I was led into the examination room, the doctor was like, "Oh, there's a medical student observing today, is that ok? Otherwise I'll ask him to leave." And I just thought, "Why the hell not, whatever," so gave my permission. And in America, if the doctor is a male, a female nurse is required to be present. Apparently not here? The doctor was rather handsome, but I wasn't really concerned with that, more so with ascertaining that my IUD was fine. So after asking me all the usual questions, during which I ignored the medical student because he was sitting to my other side, the doctor stepped out for a minute and then I made small talk with the medical student. The doctor came back fast so our small talk ceased suddenly and then I had to undress and stirrup it up. Then a nurse stepped into the room, but it was a gay male nurse, who briefly told me that they were going to make sure that the swabs were taken in the correct place. And then it was spread eagle for male doctor, medical student awkwardly hovering near my vag, gay male nurse wherever he was. Did their business and then I got dressed again but I had thought everyone had left the room, but when I moved the curtain back the medical student was there and then I sat and made more small talk with him, like he didn't just see all my junk. But surprisingly, I didn't even care. Weird, E.
That's the most notable thing in my life this past week. I think I want to spend part of this afternoon on bankside...
So basically the biggest thing to report is I went to this sexual health clinic the other day (don't freak out or assume that I'm a whore, etc.; I'm really telling this for the awkward factor--), and before I was led into the examination room, the doctor was like, "Oh, there's a medical student observing today, is that ok? Otherwise I'll ask him to leave." And I just thought, "Why the hell not, whatever," so gave my permission. And in America, if the doctor is a male, a female nurse is required to be present. Apparently not here? The doctor was rather handsome, but I wasn't really concerned with that, more so with ascertaining that my IUD was fine. So after asking me all the usual questions, during which I ignored the medical student because he was sitting to my other side, the doctor stepped out for a minute and then I made small talk with the medical student. The doctor came back fast so our small talk ceased suddenly and then I had to undress and stirrup it up. Then a nurse stepped into the room, but it was a gay male nurse, who briefly told me that they were going to make sure that the swabs were taken in the correct place. And then it was spread eagle for male doctor, medical student awkwardly hovering near my vag, gay male nurse wherever he was. Did their business and then I got dressed again but I had thought everyone had left the room, but when I moved the curtain back the medical student was there and then I sat and made more small talk with him, like he didn't just see all my junk. But surprisingly, I didn't even care. Weird, E.
That's the most notable thing in my life this past week. I think I want to spend part of this afternoon on bankside...
Saturday, May 14, 2011
been too long
I apologize for not having written in here in so long. It's been a crazy month. And by crazy basically I mean that I slacked off until the last minute about essays, spent the final week in the library all the time and crying a lot over emotional things. Then I fucked off for about a week and a half and didn't study until the last minute for history cus I'm stupid. Took that exam yesterday and it was a huge mess. Showed up like 20 min early and it wasn't until ten min after that that I thought to check my seat number. Wasn't on list...raced down to computer lab and wasn't listed on my student records although I had gotten all the e-mails saying I was taking the exam. Decided that if all else failed, I could just do a mitigating circumstances form and resit the exam. Went up to history department, trying hard not to cry at the guy who was working in the office, explained the situation, he tells me to just go back down and they would register me there and to go back after. Two minutes to spare, I took all the stairs from the 8th floor to the ground and ran into the exam just as it was beginning. Everything went smoothly but I don't even want to talk about the bloody thing. It was awful and I might've failed. The pain. I went back to the history department with my sheet after and the guy phenaggled on the computer and said I should have been registered cus everything else was fine but that I just wasn't given a seat. So it wasn't really my fault and I felt a little better knowing I wasn't that useless.
I came home and made a wonderful dinner--salmon with spinach and beans and asparagus with a lemon/oil/mustard sauce and had most of a bottle of white wine by myself. Was drunk. Barely slept last night and I feel like Night of the Living Dead right now...a bit headachey, could barely manage coffee and I went into the kitchen to chop a pepper and onion in order to make myself a scramble, which, while laying in bed sounded divine, but as soon as I was on my feet made me feel nauseated. So I played it safe with toast and peanut butter. I am completely done with school here and now have the next three and a half weeks to enjoy, wholly and completely. It's really strange to me that Kalamazoo is a tangible thing. I don't really want to think about it. :(
Also, I'm going to be a dope and reflect on my time with T, who visited me for a week and is returning for a night tomorrow before going home. It was nice to be out and explore London again, but this time from a perspective that I actually knew what I was doing. We caught up in Trafalgar Square and at my Costa out in the bright sunshine. We went to the National Gallery where I saw Sunflowers again and it made me happy again and we wanted the tie of it so badly but everything is so bloody expensive. We did Westminster Abbey a week after the wedding, which was super cool. Waiting in line for half an hour talking about music and then seeing all the old kings' burial areas. And poet's corner! So amazing. The British Museum inspiring in us the need to see the Mummy and The Mummy Returns...although we were ADD and didn't finish either of them. We got cocktails at a jazz place and had a moment with the bassist because we appreciated their music and let them know it. We went to Camden. We played Puerto Rico twice--he killed me once, and then I did. We went to Cambridge and had SO MUCH FUN punting with Chris, Theresa, and Sarah. Cambridge is beautiful in spring btw. Got tea and scones for so cheap at a lovely little place in Soho. And we went to the Tate Modern, where we stood in front of things and I just gaped at how bullshit everything was and T had to pull me back from racing through as a result. We sat in a Starbucks at Bankside essentially and I lost myself until I stood up and looked through the window to see a bridge over the Thames, forgetting where I was. There were definite rough times, but I'm glad that I got to share a bit of London with one of my best friends.
And now I think I'll stay in my pajamas for most of the day. Do need to pop in Costcutter for some things. Want another cup of coffee but my milk expired so I poured it out. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Want new music...
I came home and made a wonderful dinner--salmon with spinach and beans and asparagus with a lemon/oil/mustard sauce and had most of a bottle of white wine by myself. Was drunk. Barely slept last night and I feel like Night of the Living Dead right now...a bit headachey, could barely manage coffee and I went into the kitchen to chop a pepper and onion in order to make myself a scramble, which, while laying in bed sounded divine, but as soon as I was on my feet made me feel nauseated. So I played it safe with toast and peanut butter. I am completely done with school here and now have the next three and a half weeks to enjoy, wholly and completely. It's really strange to me that Kalamazoo is a tangible thing. I don't really want to think about it. :(
Also, I'm going to be a dope and reflect on my time with T, who visited me for a week and is returning for a night tomorrow before going home. It was nice to be out and explore London again, but this time from a perspective that I actually knew what I was doing. We caught up in Trafalgar Square and at my Costa out in the bright sunshine. We went to the National Gallery where I saw Sunflowers again and it made me happy again and we wanted the tie of it so badly but everything is so bloody expensive. We did Westminster Abbey a week after the wedding, which was super cool. Waiting in line for half an hour talking about music and then seeing all the old kings' burial areas. And poet's corner! So amazing. The British Museum inspiring in us the need to see the Mummy and The Mummy Returns...although we were ADD and didn't finish either of them. We got cocktails at a jazz place and had a moment with the bassist because we appreciated their music and let them know it. We went to Camden. We played Puerto Rico twice--he killed me once, and then I did. We went to Cambridge and had SO MUCH FUN punting with Chris, Theresa, and Sarah. Cambridge is beautiful in spring btw. Got tea and scones for so cheap at a lovely little place in Soho. And we went to the Tate Modern, where we stood in front of things and I just gaped at how bullshit everything was and T had to pull me back from racing through as a result. We sat in a Starbucks at Bankside essentially and I lost myself until I stood up and looked through the window to see a bridge over the Thames, forgetting where I was. There were definite rough times, but I'm glad that I got to share a bit of London with one of my best friends.
And now I think I'll stay in my pajamas for most of the day. Do need to pop in Costcutter for some things. Want another cup of coffee but my milk expired so I poured it out. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Want new music...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
sadface
So basically, Niko left and Michelle is leaving in five days. I am not ready for this. I am not ready to feel alone, without my support group here, without the people who tell me that I'm crazy in a comforting way when I have hypochondriac moments and need to express them to someone. I am honestly scared of being by myself...maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't alone in the flat. Most of the time being alone here is amazing cus I can make as much noise as I want, prop my door open, go to the kitchen in my underwear, etc. But sometimes at night it gets really lonely and too quiet. And then the nervousness sets in. I don't know, I'm just scared of being by myself, the same childish shit that bothers me as usual.
And...I can't deal with the pressure from both sides. ... ........ major dot dot dot situation. Major...goes into homesickness and also not wanting to leave. I am ready to have summer at home. Going to Target for no reason and looking at the clothes and shit I don't need. And going to coffee. And being bored at night in Kalamazoo. But that's where it gets sticky...I am not the same person I was. Rather, maybe I am but with a different set of people...I don't know. I miss home. I miss the places. But I don't want to leave yet. What if I don't come back?
I guess I will talk about the positive. I know that I have made some wonderful friendships while I'm here and while it makes me really sad to leave them, I'm glad for the time and I know that they will continue somehow. Robyn and I have been talking a lot lately and that's been really nice. I guess that makes me feel less alone when I stay up later than I intend shooting the shit with her and at least five times majorly laughing out loud into this empty flat out of pure hilarity and joy. Lesson: that girl cracks me up. And there are moments when I talk to her (and to others) and just have to cry because I don't know what I'm going to do without access to them in my day-to-day life. Augh, I'm at that point. But even writing the good has made things better. I just need a go to person who is going to be reassuring once Michelle isn't there to call my bluff. I will be holding auditions for the role. x.
And...I can't deal with the pressure from both sides. ... ........ major dot dot dot situation. Major...goes into homesickness and also not wanting to leave. I am ready to have summer at home. Going to Target for no reason and looking at the clothes and shit I don't need. And going to coffee. And being bored at night in Kalamazoo. But that's where it gets sticky...I am not the same person I was. Rather, maybe I am but with a different set of people...I don't know. I miss home. I miss the places. But I don't want to leave yet. What if I don't come back?
I guess I will talk about the positive. I know that I have made some wonderful friendships while I'm here and while it makes me really sad to leave them, I'm glad for the time and I know that they will continue somehow. Robyn and I have been talking a lot lately and that's been really nice. I guess that makes me feel less alone when I stay up later than I intend shooting the shit with her and at least five times majorly laughing out loud into this empty flat out of pure hilarity and joy. Lesson: that girl cracks me up. And there are moments when I talk to her (and to others) and just have to cry because I don't know what I'm going to do without access to them in my day-to-day life. Augh, I'm at that point. But even writing the good has made things better. I just need a go to person who is going to be reassuring once Michelle isn't there to call my bluff. I will be holding auditions for the role. x.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
BOREDO[O]M and so. much. rambling.
Why oh why does it have to be nice outside and I have total lack of will to do anything productive. Things I did do: finished The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, went through a book for Psychoanalysis, went through a book for Shakespeare, went to the library, ate lots of food, watched like three or four eppys of Big Bang (Season 1 and Season 4 are best). At one point I turned on my computer to start working on creative writing and I got as far as opening my documents folder before I watched Big Bang again and then started skyping with Obi and eating copious amounts of food. Then my computer was on for too long so I took a break and I'm running out of things to clean and organize in my boredom. I straightened up a drawer and my desk and washed the dishes. I am currently back on the sadness train, listening to musicals and Chris Bathgate and feeling sorry for myself because I know things can't always be perfect, but I thrive on a little drama, but I have no meter so I bring it all on myself. I feel out of touch. And bloated. Can't forget bloated. I've been craving chai in the middle of the afternoon and I find that weird but I indulge. Isn't flucloxacillin a silly name? Say that five times fast. Mmm I think part of it is homesickness cus the other day we were out buying a pizza and eating in the park and spring/summer here feels like home, like when you ignore work in order to go out and play and you go buy junk food and life becomes an adventure as you walk around eating things that aren't good for you in the warmth and dwindling sunlight. All the Michigan folk music makes me homesick, sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way. It makes me hope for the best for next year--that there will be good parties, good people, I will enjoy my classes and my life, I will dress funky and will sit on the grass when it's warm. I will be ok with going home as long as it's not too boring--if I get gigs like Breathe Owl Breathe and Chris Bathgate (maybe at the Strutt, maybe not), walking around K, walking around town in general, going to Kazoo Books and petting the cat, going to Waterstreet!!!! and drinking loads of chai shakes with dark chocolate flavoring, visiting Ann Arbor, being with my crazy, crazy friends. I was walking earlier and thinking about that--how some of my friendships just sort of fell into place because of our common wackiness, and here you really have to prove that to people, show your wackness and prove it before you can reach that point where you're talking about your genitals in detail with them, talking about daddy issues, rubbing their ass with your feet like a cricket until they fart really hard in your room...you have to build up to that shit with people you don't know. To cuddling on Parliament Hill on a stolen airplane blanket. OMG PANERA. I can't wait for Panera. The hardest part is knowing that I will be missing England through all this. Girl nights where we watch shit tv or a good movie and do henna and talk about guys. The beach...I feel greatly conflicted. OH SETTLERS OF CATAN...how I miss you. Video Hits Plus. Three Rivers. Lowry's. The highway. Rave. K's campus. My house. Patty's house. My mum's Subaru and driving. Den pops. Late night walks with Theo, Devin, and Evan. My family randomly coming up to Michigan. I am now listening to Graham Parsons. I thought you should know. I am also really sleepy again.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Apathy
I am meant to be doing essay work, but I can't be bothered atm. I wrote almost 600 words for cw final...but it's really staccato scene-wise and nothing is really flowing so I'm giving up and writing here to see if it will help (and will probs write in actual journal later too) to get the juices going. I am going to watch Big Bang Theory in a bit, too, and maybe Skins, cus I am so tired I do NOT feel like just hitting the books. Or maybe I feel like hitting them but not opening them and taking notes. My goal to spend all of tomorrow and Sunday doing so.
The weather has been BEAUTIFUL lately. On Wednesday Michelle and I spent an hour in the park behind gds reading and then that night was Niko's last, so I sucked it all up even though I felt ill as hell and we went up to Parliament Hill where we feasted on Pret and sort of watched the sunset, but mostly people watched (kite man, hooligan kids, people making out and mounting each other in public-->see laughing about it with cute hipster boy). Cue several fail attempts on my part to piggyback ride Niko...peed my pants slightly in the park. Was so knackered couldn't go back to Hampstead cus I knew I wouldn't get home until late. I got the northern line home and spent it just like, zoned, snuffling and trying not to cry a bit.
Today I went to the doctor again, but this time for IUD stuff. The Dean Street nurse was amazing--I love sexual health clinic workers because they're so open and nice and wonderful. She was great to me and I had the Australian nurse again to just generally talk to, and she is just the sweetest. I was there for like two hours. Had a ROUGH pelvic exam by mean doctor man. Been on the computer since I've been home. No will to do anything. Will try to write later and perhaps come up with a plan for my life. I need an outdoor table and no wind. That would be magical. Work work work the weekend away. Register for classes for next year on Monday. Attempt to get my shit together. Let's go!
The weather has been BEAUTIFUL lately. On Wednesday Michelle and I spent an hour in the park behind gds reading and then that night was Niko's last, so I sucked it all up even though I felt ill as hell and we went up to Parliament Hill where we feasted on Pret and sort of watched the sunset, but mostly people watched (kite man, hooligan kids, people making out and mounting each other in public-->see laughing about it with cute hipster boy). Cue several fail attempts on my part to piggyback ride Niko...peed my pants slightly in the park. Was so knackered couldn't go back to Hampstead cus I knew I wouldn't get home until late. I got the northern line home and spent it just like, zoned, snuffling and trying not to cry a bit.
Today I went to the doctor again, but this time for IUD stuff. The Dean Street nurse was amazing--I love sexual health clinic workers because they're so open and nice and wonderful. She was great to me and I had the Australian nurse again to just generally talk to, and she is just the sweetest. I was there for like two hours. Had a ROUGH pelvic exam by mean doctor man. Been on the computer since I've been home. No will to do anything. Will try to write later and perhaps come up with a plan for my life. I need an outdoor table and no wind. That would be magical. Work work work the weekend away. Register for classes for next year on Monday. Attempt to get my shit together. Let's go!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Megavideo is being a little bitch--->blogging time
Yes, been totally slacking lately. This past week has been stressful because I had a history essay due and Cheapside stuff due and it was all a lot. I ended up finishing things running on like four hours sleep but it was all ok. I went to see Patrick Wolf again on Tuesday night, this time at a club in Camden called Koko. I went with Nina and met her bestie, Roy, who was a total sweetheart and very nice. We had a box area on the second tier sort of at the side. It was a nice view and one didn't get all concert-sweaty. A guy called Rowdy Superstar opened the show. He was like glam rap with backup dancers. It was fun but the strobe lights were kind of intense. Patrick again was amazing. He played a lot of older songs like "To the Lighthouse" which was fun to hear live. I really liked hearing "Hard Times" live as well. It was super Middle Eastern emphasized. I was getting bummed about not hearing The City until he played it in the encore and I was a happy girl. It took us ages to get out until they cleared the way for Nina to leave and she tumbled down the ramps with some WHEEE!s. We went around back and waited for at least an hour and a half and I was a bit despairing cus I hadn't really started my history essay and there was a long trek home for me. But finally when Patrick came out, a lot of things were justified. Here was this man--the memory that sticks out for me was getting through 2.5 hours of orgo at kamsc and knowing that I was going to CD Warehouse to finally buy Magic Position. And then just blasting that in my car and it was all I basically listened to for a month and I carried around the CD case for two days in class cus it made me so happy. And I printed off pictures of him and put them on my planner to make me happier at kamsc. AND HE WAS STANDING THERE OUTSIDE A CLUB IN LONDON. I was trying not to freak.
I zoned and finally when I came back in he had come over to us. I couldn't really speak because all I had to say was, "Omg, I've loved you since I was 16, your music got me through orgo, thank you" cus that would be a jumble and yeah. So I just introduced myself and he made sure to get my name right and then Roy and Nina and he talked about the gig and the sound, etc and I was thinking, "He's so tall in real life!" Before I missed my chance, I asked for a pic and then it was funny cus he kept talking to Nina and Roy was waiting to take the picture and I was like, "Picture with Patrick Wolf!" AND HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND ALL LEANED DOWN.
I zoned and finally when I came back in he had come over to us. I couldn't really speak because all I had to say was, "Omg, I've loved you since I was 16, your music got me through orgo, thank you" cus that would be a jumble and yeah. So I just introduced myself and he made sure to get my name right and then Roy and Nina and he talked about the gig and the sound, etc and I was thinking, "He's so tall in real life!" Before I missed my chance, I asked for a pic and then it was funny cus he kept talking to Nina and Roy was waiting to take the picture and I was like, "Picture with Patrick Wolf!" AND HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND ALL LEANED DOWN.
I LOOK SO HAPPY IN THIS PIC. And then we left and I was trying not to freak again. There was no night bus from there so we walked to Euston where there was no night bus then we just flagged a cab and went to Nina's so I could get my stuff. Then She and Roy walked me out to Waterloo Road where I flagged another cab and got home around 2.
Wednesday was Ben's bday and Michelle's. I talked to Ben for like twenty min but I was all crazed and running late putting on makeup cus we were going out to dinner for Michelle's bday. We went to this Indian place in the East End called Tayyabs and it was so cheap and amazing. There were dishes covering every inch of the table. Samosas, naan, tikka masala, mango lassi, everything. Then we came back to mine and basically just played music and talked and drank some wine and stuff. It was nice. Oh! I also wore my dress from Salvation Army that cost me less than 4 pounds and it was awesome. And I kept up with a gangle wearing heels. So that's my life in a nutshell. Classes have ended. I have three weeks to write 12,500 words and Psychoanalysis was shot down and basically...I'm not despairing and don't know why. Am having a sleepover with Michelle and Niko tonight and last night's hypochondriac worry was perforated uterus. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Niko leaves on Thursday. Michelle and I sat in the grass for half an hour yesterday waiting for the swings to open up. It was nice to be outside. It's spring!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I am getting to be a bad blogger/I do it for my own sake
It's been a rough week or so...been feeling sick which hasn't been fun and is the reason for non-activity. But the weather this week has been beautiful, so I've fought my way through feeling ucky to walk around London. It's been in the 50s and sunny so I took advantage of that the other day. Sat at a bench on the embankment for quite a long while on Tuesday afternoon and then had this really freaky moment of total disconnection from London. The Eye was there, the Thames, and I didn't feel it. It was quite disorienting. Also, there are daffodils everywhere in this city.
I saw Submarine last night. It is Richard Ayoade's first movie that he directed, and it has been likened to Wes Anderson. While I liked it overall, I did feel like it was trying a bit hard by doing a LOT--the breaking up into parts, the music, the colors. Overall nice though.
I have been tearing up/almost crying a lot lately. Niko is leaving in less than two weeks now and it's really hitting me. He, Michelle and I were in Pret the other night and the music they were playing was just right on our situation: "I wanna go to my hometown..." and "I don't wanna say goodbye" So I cried in Pret because I'm not ready. We're going to have a sleepover next weekend though. And today Charli invited me back home with her anytime in April...so sweet.
Otherwise I have essays. Counting history essay to be handed in next week (and I'm going to pull a Robyn here): 15,000 words. And I have no idea what I'm writing about for Psychoanalysis, barely an idea for Shakespeare, but finally had inklings for Creative Writing today...although I have to listen to an audio reading of a book and read another book still for that class. So the stress is setting in, it's 5 1/2 weeks til T visits, friends are going home, I cry thinking about going home and adjusting to that, I am a mess. I find solace in holing up in my room watching the Big Bang Theory because I have finally come around to it and it fits right now and makes me laugh out loud. I am bony. I made a killer pot of chili last night. I went to bed at 2am and am tired.
I saw Submarine last night. It is Richard Ayoade's first movie that he directed, and it has been likened to Wes Anderson. While I liked it overall, I did feel like it was trying a bit hard by doing a LOT--the breaking up into parts, the music, the colors. Overall nice though.
I have been tearing up/almost crying a lot lately. Niko is leaving in less than two weeks now and it's really hitting me. He, Michelle and I were in Pret the other night and the music they were playing was just right on our situation: "I wanna go to my hometown..." and "I don't wanna say goodbye" So I cried in Pret because I'm not ready. We're going to have a sleepover next weekend though. And today Charli invited me back home with her anytime in April...so sweet.
Otherwise I have essays. Counting history essay to be handed in next week (and I'm going to pull a Robyn here): 15,000 words. And I have no idea what I'm writing about for Psychoanalysis, barely an idea for Shakespeare, but finally had inklings for Creative Writing today...although I have to listen to an audio reading of a book and read another book still for that class. So the stress is setting in, it's 5 1/2 weeks til T visits, friends are going home, I cry thinking about going home and adjusting to that, I am a mess. I find solace in holing up in my room watching the Big Bang Theory because I have finally come around to it and it fits right now and makes me laugh out loud. I am bony. I made a killer pot of chili last night. I went to bed at 2am and am tired.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Shit is getting real.
This morning was a really good morning. I was productive as hell and played lots of Patrick Wolf happiness to the sunshine.
I have realized that I must strike a balance in the way I participate in class. I say one or two small but on-the-right-track things in class then I get all excited that I'm doing well and then I talked TOO much and say something stupid. But I'm appreciating the fact that I'm getting more comfortable with my peers and with MYSELF.
Annnnnd, we workshopped my piece (anonymously) in class today. It was kind of scary as hell, especially when people kind of hated on the names I chose for my characters AND THEN SOPHIE SAID THAT IT STRUCK HER MORE AS AMERICAN. There are like two Americans in that class and I am the only one who talks!!!! I like could NOT look up cus I would have cried and/or turned beet red. Anyway, realized my story isn't a story because it actually happened and I told it kind of verbatim...boring. But I appreciated Sophie's comments a lot. And I just spent an hour reading most of this history article and I don't really care and I'm getting stressed cus time is running out and I have essays that I don't even know what I'm writing about!!! This weekend I will organize my life.
I have realized that I must strike a balance in the way I participate in class. I say one or two small but on-the-right-track things in class then I get all excited that I'm doing well and then I talked TOO much and say something stupid. But I'm appreciating the fact that I'm getting more comfortable with my peers and with MYSELF.
Annnnnd, we workshopped my piece (anonymously) in class today. It was kind of scary as hell, especially when people kind of hated on the names I chose for my characters AND THEN SOPHIE SAID THAT IT STRUCK HER MORE AS AMERICAN. There are like two Americans in that class and I am the only one who talks!!!! I like could NOT look up cus I would have cried and/or turned beet red. Anyway, realized my story isn't a story because it actually happened and I told it kind of verbatim...boring. But I appreciated Sophie's comments a lot. And I just spent an hour reading most of this history article and I don't really care and I'm getting stressed cus time is running out and I have essays that I don't even know what I'm writing about!!! This weekend I will organize my life.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
It's been a day, guys...
So I've not been feeling well due to hormones today and a bit of yesterday, but I got home today and I was like, "Wow, I need to cry...a little alarmingly/overwhelmingly so." I talked to T for like ten minutes and that was good and I cried a little and felt immediately better. I will regale you with tales of my life
I got coffee with Nina and Argula on Saturday and Nina made me a burnt CD with freaking decal letters spelling out my name! And she got me three giant tubes of love hearts from fucking Switzerland! So I'm currently on tube 2 and they have phrases in England, French, Swiss-German...I just ate one that said, "Sage ja" lollll. I think that right there made my day a little better. Also, Devin just IMed me with this little comic which you all should look at because it made me laugh out loud quite forcefully: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh9fgn3nXW1qfl9wuo1_500.png
I wore a skirt today. And mascara. Cus Nina and I were going to a makeup launch party...which didn't happen while I was around. OH, but first...I had the most interesting busride I've had since being here. Going up Waterloo Road there was a man pissing against a fence in the middle of central London with plenty of people walking by. I did a triple take. And then I nearly suffocated because the guy in front of me was wearing enough cologne to kill a small room of people with allergies. He was like a living embodiment of an A&F store because I could hear his pounding club music coming through his earbuds. Anyway, I digress.
So I met Nina at school and we took a bus to Regent Street and I saw Carnaby Street (famous shopping area) for the first time. We went to this cute little shopping center and to this tea room where she got me a chai latte, which, looking back, almost makes me want to cry cus it was just unexpected and nice. The tea room was so cute--I want to go back! We went to the makeup store and it was deeeead so we awkwardly went around and I saw MD and then we left and wandered and then I got the bus back to school.
I got home and was productive and talked to Charli and then just had all the little good things happen and I came out of the shower and let my hair down and it was vavavoomy and then I had to answer the flat door in a towel and it was the guy who returned our mop late last night asking if he could borrow our mop again. I've decided it's a tech night so I've put up more pictures in this album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=340954&id=552508884&saved#!/album.php?fbid=10150149531853885&id=552508884&aid=340954
So you should enjoy that and keep being my friend because I love you.
I got coffee with Nina and Argula on Saturday and Nina made me a burnt CD with freaking decal letters spelling out my name! And she got me three giant tubes of love hearts from fucking Switzerland! So I'm currently on tube 2 and they have phrases in England, French, Swiss-German...I just ate one that said, "Sage ja" lollll. I think that right there made my day a little better. Also, Devin just IMed me with this little comic which you all should look at because it made me laugh out loud quite forcefully: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh9fgn3nXW1qfl9wuo1_500.png
I wore a skirt today. And mascara. Cus Nina and I were going to a makeup launch party...which didn't happen while I was around. OH, but first...I had the most interesting busride I've had since being here. Going up Waterloo Road there was a man pissing against a fence in the middle of central London with plenty of people walking by. I did a triple take. And then I nearly suffocated because the guy in front of me was wearing enough cologne to kill a small room of people with allergies. He was like a living embodiment of an A&F store because I could hear his pounding club music coming through his earbuds. Anyway, I digress.
So I met Nina at school and we took a bus to Regent Street and I saw Carnaby Street (famous shopping area) for the first time. We went to this cute little shopping center and to this tea room where she got me a chai latte, which, looking back, almost makes me want to cry cus it was just unexpected and nice. The tea room was so cute--I want to go back! We went to the makeup store and it was deeeead so we awkwardly went around and I saw MD and then we left and wandered and then I got the bus back to school.
I got home and was productive and talked to Charli and then just had all the little good things happen and I came out of the shower and let my hair down and it was vavavoomy and then I had to answer the flat door in a towel and it was the guy who returned our mop late last night asking if he could borrow our mop again. I've decided it's a tech night so I've put up more pictures in this album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=340954&id=552508884&saved#!/album.php?fbid=10150149531853885&id=552508884&aid=340954
So you should enjoy that and keep being my friend because I love you.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Lots of walking, walking, walking
Sooo starting with last Saturday--went to Hampstead Heath. Well, first I wandered around the area and was struck with how it reminded me of home a bit because there were like two random shops that made me think of downtown Kalamazoo with their designer knick-knacks. I was really tempted to buy temporary tattoos and/or face crayons...but I held back and just bought a little something for my mumsy. Then I went to the Heath, up to Parliament Hill, which is northwest London and literally looks out over the whole city. It was awesome. I could see the gherkin and other buildings, even the black and white building all the way in Elephant and Castle which is like ten minutes from my flat and you can see it from our kitchen. The lawns were nice and there was one that reminded me of the tennis courts at Western. Walked around a little more before going up and down Hampstead High Street and then walked all the way to Camden from there. What a walk, but it was nice. Ate at the Blues Kitchen and then caught a bus home.
Michelle came over and we chit-chatted until Niko called under false premises (we did have plans to hang) and we discovered what an incredibly awful liar he is. Long story short, we saved his ass with a phone call about another toilet bowl cracking...and then we hung out until like two in the morning, just talking and stuff. Ate the leftover homemade sausage gravy at like midnight and I burnt the roof of my my mouth so hard. Said something that upset Niko at like quarter to two so I left in a huff and it was a little awks but eventually things straightened themselves out. Sunday was totally blah in comparison, just homework and skyping.
On Monday I had class and then Michelle and I went to the library. It's been quite sunny here this week, which has been nice, so we were strolling and then she got sausage rolls (YUM) and let me have two bites. Then I went home and did hw until she texted me to do laundry so we did that. Niko texted and wanted to hang, so we arranged that. I tried to get an article for school and was generally super stressed. My laundry was hung around my room on every available surface because even though we split up our stuff in three dryers for 50 min each, everything but jeans were basically damp as hell. Niko was almost an hour late, but that's when we both apologized and everything was good. I ate my dinner then we went to Michelle's and they ate. Basically I had intended to only hang out for like two hours, but of course we ended up being in Michelle's til midnight. And I didn't shower at night again, feeling nast.
Tues I went to Senate House and was productive, doing some research on Cheapside for my presentation on Friday. (Cheapside is an area in London, a street now, but back in Shakespeare's time it was THE marketplace and being so open, was the stage to coronation processions and other spectacles like pageants and public punishments.) Then I had class and came home to do more hw and was in the kitchen talking to Charli and stuff. Hadn't talked to T in like a week so I caught up with him. My nights have been quite blah.
Yesterday I went shopping at Big Tesco and then successfully texted with one hand while holding my like 20lb shopping in the other and walking. Took the tube to Westminster and walked around St. James Park. The sun kept coming and going. Every time it's sunny here it's always windy as hell to take away the warmer temperature. Meant to walk up Whitehall, cus we also covered that in Shakespeare, but got lost and ended up in Trafalgar Square for a bit, then ate at Wagamama in Covent Garden before stopping at Waterstone's and oooing over sudoku books and cookbooks. Then did walk down Whitehall...quite anticlimactic after what we learned in class. Came up to Westminster then walked along the Embankment until hit Waterloo Bridge and crossed that then walked along the Thames diversion pathway all the way home. If you don't called that traversing half of London I don't know what is. I was basically dead once I got home and finally sat down. Did my Cheapside research and then watched Waterloo Road with the flat. SO MUCH SHIT HAPPENS ON THAT SHOW IT'S RIDIC. I nearly fell asleep during it. Also, I bought so many dark chocolate digestives I ate like seven and then around 11 when I went to the kitchen to fill my water bottle, Alison had made pancakes cus yesterday was Pancake Day (Fat Tuesday). So I had three crepes. Whenever I eat that late at night I always end up waking up in the wee hours hungry. Weird and not ok. So I was up, tossing and turning from 4:15-6:15, when I got out of bed and ate a small bowl of cereal so I could sleep again. I feel not rested and self-conscious. All my pants are too big for me. Some shirts are too short, some stained before I am messy. I feel hairy and everything is chapped because of the dryness? My hands are digusting, so I had to buy hand balm/extreme lotion to soothe them. My nails keeps cracking. We'll see.
Michelle came over and we chit-chatted until Niko called under false premises (we did have plans to hang) and we discovered what an incredibly awful liar he is. Long story short, we saved his ass with a phone call about another toilet bowl cracking...and then we hung out until like two in the morning, just talking and stuff. Ate the leftover homemade sausage gravy at like midnight and I burnt the roof of my my mouth so hard. Said something that upset Niko at like quarter to two so I left in a huff and it was a little awks but eventually things straightened themselves out. Sunday was totally blah in comparison, just homework and skyping.
On Monday I had class and then Michelle and I went to the library. It's been quite sunny here this week, which has been nice, so we were strolling and then she got sausage rolls (YUM) and let me have two bites. Then I went home and did hw until she texted me to do laundry so we did that. Niko texted and wanted to hang, so we arranged that. I tried to get an article for school and was generally super stressed. My laundry was hung around my room on every available surface because even though we split up our stuff in three dryers for 50 min each, everything but jeans were basically damp as hell. Niko was almost an hour late, but that's when we both apologized and everything was good. I ate my dinner then we went to Michelle's and they ate. Basically I had intended to only hang out for like two hours, but of course we ended up being in Michelle's til midnight. And I didn't shower at night again, feeling nast.
Tues I went to Senate House and was productive, doing some research on Cheapside for my presentation on Friday. (Cheapside is an area in London, a street now, but back in Shakespeare's time it was THE marketplace and being so open, was the stage to coronation processions and other spectacles like pageants and public punishments.) Then I had class and came home to do more hw and was in the kitchen talking to Charli and stuff. Hadn't talked to T in like a week so I caught up with him. My nights have been quite blah.
Yesterday I went shopping at Big Tesco and then successfully texted with one hand while holding my like 20lb shopping in the other and walking. Took the tube to Westminster and walked around St. James Park. The sun kept coming and going. Every time it's sunny here it's always windy as hell to take away the warmer temperature. Meant to walk up Whitehall, cus we also covered that in Shakespeare, but got lost and ended up in Trafalgar Square for a bit, then ate at Wagamama in Covent Garden before stopping at Waterstone's and oooing over sudoku books and cookbooks. Then did walk down Whitehall...quite anticlimactic after what we learned in class. Came up to Westminster then walked along the Embankment until hit Waterloo Bridge and crossed that then walked along the Thames diversion pathway all the way home. If you don't called that traversing half of London I don't know what is. I was basically dead once I got home and finally sat down. Did my Cheapside research and then watched Waterloo Road with the flat. SO MUCH SHIT HAPPENS ON THAT SHOW IT'S RIDIC. I nearly fell asleep during it. Also, I bought so many dark chocolate digestives I ate like seven and then around 11 when I went to the kitchen to fill my water bottle, Alison had made pancakes cus yesterday was Pancake Day (Fat Tuesday). So I had three crepes. Whenever I eat that late at night I always end up waking up in the wee hours hungry. Weird and not ok. So I was up, tossing and turning from 4:15-6:15, when I got out of bed and ate a small bowl of cereal so I could sleep again. I feel not rested and self-conscious. All my pants are too big for me. Some shirts are too short, some stained before I am messy. I feel hairy and everything is chapped because of the dryness? My hands are digusting, so I had to buy hand balm/extreme lotion to soothe them. My nails keeps cracking. We'll see.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Time for the uber post
So guys, been MIA for a bit, sorry about that. Let's get caught up. Last weekend was my first free weekend!!! I spent it watching Misfits and then got a computer virus...so I had some cocktails with Winnie, which was nice. Learned from her as usual. Freaked out about computer. Soooo on Sunday I did hw and then ran the computer to James in Piccadilly Circus because he fixed it for free. Later that night was dinner with Niko and Michelle. We made gyros and Niko brought over some half-baked ice cream and we ate all of it after DERICIOUS (yes, that just happened) lamb and feta ness. We played uno and ended up talking about our bathroom habits in my room until midnight.
Waking up on Monday was killer. I don't even remember quite what I did but I know that I didn't feel well after so little sleep and two cups of coffee. I made it to the public library around the corner, where I've managed to rack up almost ten pounds in fines. But, knowing me and my intense love of public libraries, I left with a stack of books, including Sh*t My Dad Says, which I read that evening.
Tuesday just kind of illustrated my growing dependence (although we've deemed it still healthy) on Michelle, and I guess Nik Nik. I spent almost three hours in the computer lab finishing up litpsych reading and then Michelle was feeling badly so I offered to make her grilled cheese for lunch. We hung out for an hour and a half, me not feeling well from another lack of sleep night. It was stressing ME out hearing about money issues with Katie coming, and all the shit that needed to be done, etc. and then in the middle of all of it Michelle was like, "I wanna go home." I nearly started a panic and crying, but I was like, "Ahhh you can't do this to me!" and then it was ok. I had a brief coffee with Greg before lit psych lecture, which was fine and then I hopped on the HYDROGEN BUS (RV1--it kept shutting down though lol) to get to the Tower area. I WAS going to a publication launch to see what it was like and to get free shit, but Niko was like 15 minutes late. Example of dependence: Michelle had texted me fml and stuff so I called and half a ten min conversation with her like we hadn't seen each other in days while I waited for Niko. When he finally emerged, trying to scare the shit out of me by talking to me on the phone and edging up next to me, we decided to scrap going to the party in favor of just going back to gdsa, making dinner, and hanging out.
He bought more ice cream for us, one pint specifically for Michelle's cramps, and she made homemade mac and cheese. We all about died from the itis. That night was pretty crazy. I was hyped and stuff and Arif and Arun were in the kitchen hanging out. Arif had just received the news that he had to move out and I could tell he was a bit shell shocked. There was a vibrating phone incident that kind of made me pee my pants a little bit, as well as Niko throwing rice at me, it landing in the crease of my neck and lots of spasms. After the itis went down, we went to Michelle's room to watch some stand-up before Michelle had to go pick up Katie.
Wednesday was amazing. I did a lot of shopping and then Cathy came over and I made her American comfort food. I got to hear her speak Spanish for the first time which was soooo awesome. We chatted for most of the afternoon before making my second trip to Sainsbury's in the day to buy James gingerbread cookies as payment for my computer. We met him outside Borough station and for realz, I really like those two. They're so cute and such good people and I'm really happy to know them. I was also ecstatic about having my compy back. So I went on it for half an hour before heading up to Oxford St area to meet Katie and Michelle at a Salvation Army. I bought a dress and a shirt for 6 pounds. We made a stop at Primark and I bought three shirts for 6 pounds. We spent forever in the shoe section and then we were dying so we stopped at Starbucks so Michelle could be and sweated our way home.
I caught up with some people on skype and Charli came in my room and chatted to me. Then our whole flat congregated because of Arif moving out. Basically, he had applied for early termination because gdsa is too expensive so once they found someone to take his contract he had to move out. They gave him two days notice. Everyone made their prospective dinners while we watched East Enders and Shubha had done some emergency baking. Arif bought beer. We all had the cake together and broke open some beers before deciding what the night had in store. Majority felt like just a movie in the flat with drinking game, so we all clamored into our shoes for a crazy alcohol run. We went to the little shop across the street where we got a big ass bottle of cherry Lambrini and some vodka. Then we went to Costcutter where Shubha bought peach schnabbs and a cheap copy of 300. We had a toast to Arif in the flat and made it through maybe 20 min of 300 before we were too crazed about sex and other things. There were flat confessions and we played a drinking game to Roxanna before the movie and during the move we drank to lady nipples, any mention of Sparta/Spartans, and general punching. Then we ran to Shubha's room and Jaimini was embarrassed so we all ran to her room and were hanging out in there. People were yelling that we had to hang out in each person's room so we went to Arun's and then back to Jaimini's when someone had the idea to curl Arun's hair and put makeup on him. I finally had to leave around midnight to talk to Theo and my body was considering being sick of me but it wasn't, thank god. 45 min later I got a knock on the door, the makeup was done and it was amazing, so they all came in and said hey to T over skype, which was funny. I didn't go to bed until 2 and it was rough.
I woke up around 10:30 and was busy all morning trying to get shit done before class. Went there, actually talked to one of the smart kids from Irish last semester that made me feel stupid but he's really nice. At the break I talked to Robyn as usual, who had cupcakes (going to get so fat). Creative Writing was good, though I was so tired by that point that I was having trouble paying attention. I got home and ate dinner with some flatmates before uploading all the pics of the past two months (not a lot, I can tell you). Then Niko came with ICE CREAM AGAIN although he was mean about it. We met Argula at a pub and I don't like Guinness. We taught Niko how to play euchre and they left at nearly 1 and I am so tired. We had a moot debate in Shakespeare which scared the shit out of me. This one girl in my group was annoying cus she did one of my pet peeves--where people like explain something, but after they've said like five words I get what they're saying but they continue saying it in like three or four sentences. I really wanted to stop her and say, "I get it, you can stop talking." But I'm nice. Anyway, I went to superdrug and came home and saw some fam and now I'm just chilling. Going to catch up on Graham like whoa. Going to Hampstead Heath tomorrow I think and then maybe movie night with the reggies. I love Nik Nik and MiShayShay. They my peeps.
Here are stupid pictures from January-present: http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=340954&id=552508884
Here are the pics of the flat's night of drunken debauchery (not really): http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?fbid=10150149540583885&id=552508884&aid=340956
Waking up on Monday was killer. I don't even remember quite what I did but I know that I didn't feel well after so little sleep and two cups of coffee. I made it to the public library around the corner, where I've managed to rack up almost ten pounds in fines. But, knowing me and my intense love of public libraries, I left with a stack of books, including Sh*t My Dad Says, which I read that evening.
Tuesday just kind of illustrated my growing dependence (although we've deemed it still healthy) on Michelle, and I guess Nik Nik. I spent almost three hours in the computer lab finishing up litpsych reading and then Michelle was feeling badly so I offered to make her grilled cheese for lunch. We hung out for an hour and a half, me not feeling well from another lack of sleep night. It was stressing ME out hearing about money issues with Katie coming, and all the shit that needed to be done, etc. and then in the middle of all of it Michelle was like, "I wanna go home." I nearly started a panic and crying, but I was like, "Ahhh you can't do this to me!" and then it was ok. I had a brief coffee with Greg before lit psych lecture, which was fine and then I hopped on the HYDROGEN BUS (RV1--it kept shutting down though lol) to get to the Tower area. I WAS going to a publication launch to see what it was like and to get free shit, but Niko was like 15 minutes late. Example of dependence: Michelle had texted me fml and stuff so I called and half a ten min conversation with her like we hadn't seen each other in days while I waited for Niko. When he finally emerged, trying to scare the shit out of me by talking to me on the phone and edging up next to me, we decided to scrap going to the party in favor of just going back to gdsa, making dinner, and hanging out.
He bought more ice cream for us, one pint specifically for Michelle's cramps, and she made homemade mac and cheese. We all about died from the itis. That night was pretty crazy. I was hyped and stuff and Arif and Arun were in the kitchen hanging out. Arif had just received the news that he had to move out and I could tell he was a bit shell shocked. There was a vibrating phone incident that kind of made me pee my pants a little bit, as well as Niko throwing rice at me, it landing in the crease of my neck and lots of spasms. After the itis went down, we went to Michelle's room to watch some stand-up before Michelle had to go pick up Katie.
Wednesday was amazing. I did a lot of shopping and then Cathy came over and I made her American comfort food. I got to hear her speak Spanish for the first time which was soooo awesome. We chatted for most of the afternoon before making my second trip to Sainsbury's in the day to buy James gingerbread cookies as payment for my computer. We met him outside Borough station and for realz, I really like those two. They're so cute and such good people and I'm really happy to know them. I was also ecstatic about having my compy back. So I went on it for half an hour before heading up to Oxford St area to meet Katie and Michelle at a Salvation Army. I bought a dress and a shirt for 6 pounds. We made a stop at Primark and I bought three shirts for 6 pounds. We spent forever in the shoe section and then we were dying so we stopped at Starbucks so Michelle could be and sweated our way home.
I caught up with some people on skype and Charli came in my room and chatted to me. Then our whole flat congregated because of Arif moving out. Basically, he had applied for early termination because gdsa is too expensive so once they found someone to take his contract he had to move out. They gave him two days notice. Everyone made their prospective dinners while we watched East Enders and Shubha had done some emergency baking. Arif bought beer. We all had the cake together and broke open some beers before deciding what the night had in store. Majority felt like just a movie in the flat with drinking game, so we all clamored into our shoes for a crazy alcohol run. We went to the little shop across the street where we got a big ass bottle of cherry Lambrini and some vodka. Then we went to Costcutter where Shubha bought peach schnabbs and a cheap copy of 300. We had a toast to Arif in the flat and made it through maybe 20 min of 300 before we were too crazed about sex and other things. There were flat confessions and we played a drinking game to Roxanna before the movie and during the move we drank to lady nipples, any mention of Sparta/Spartans, and general punching. Then we ran to Shubha's room and Jaimini was embarrassed so we all ran to her room and were hanging out in there. People were yelling that we had to hang out in each person's room so we went to Arun's and then back to Jaimini's when someone had the idea to curl Arun's hair and put makeup on him. I finally had to leave around midnight to talk to Theo and my body was considering being sick of me but it wasn't, thank god. 45 min later I got a knock on the door, the makeup was done and it was amazing, so they all came in and said hey to T over skype, which was funny. I didn't go to bed until 2 and it was rough.
I woke up around 10:30 and was busy all morning trying to get shit done before class. Went there, actually talked to one of the smart kids from Irish last semester that made me feel stupid but he's really nice. At the break I talked to Robyn as usual, who had cupcakes (going to get so fat). Creative Writing was good, though I was so tired by that point that I was having trouble paying attention. I got home and ate dinner with some flatmates before uploading all the pics of the past two months (not a lot, I can tell you). Then Niko came with ICE CREAM AGAIN although he was mean about it. We met Argula at a pub and I don't like Guinness. We taught Niko how to play euchre and they left at nearly 1 and I am so tired. We had a moot debate in Shakespeare which scared the shit out of me. This one girl in my group was annoying cus she did one of my pet peeves--where people like explain something, but after they've said like five words I get what they're saying but they continue saying it in like three or four sentences. I really wanted to stop her and say, "I get it, you can stop talking." But I'm nice. Anyway, I went to superdrug and came home and saw some fam and now I'm just chilling. Going to catch up on Graham like whoa. Going to Hampstead Heath tomorrow I think and then maybe movie night with the reggies. I love Nik Nik and MiShayShay. They my peeps.
Here are stupid pictures from January-present: http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=340954&id=552508884
Here are the pics of the flat's night of drunken debauchery (not really): http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?fbid=10150149540583885&id=552508884&aid=340956
Thursday, February 24, 2011
My teeth are going to rot out of my head because my lunch was a double chocolate chip muffin and then some gummy bears....
I should probably stop posting mid-day when I know that more exciting things are going to happen later in the day. But I keep coming back to my blog and started thinking need to write....
I had my last weekend of work! It was kind of bad because I felt sick the whole weekend from lack of sleep but overall, so happy to be done and so happy that I met some really cool people who definitely helped the time pass and made thing super entertaining. On Sunday, I made mac and cheese for Michelle and I and it was supernice to catch up with her. Surprising how much I can miss that girl when she's gone for a week. I don't mean that in a bad sense, guess we just tight.
Woke up to Obi Tuesday morning and miss him terribly. There are times, like now, when I want nothing more than him to be in London, wandering around with me...I was just thinking about us wandering through Soho, finding that random magazine shop, him driving me crazy being here, but enjoying his company at the same time. Falling asleep in Costa essentially...and just generally getting lost. Omg gingerbread lattes...I think of them fondly.
Yesterday we went to the Evolving English exhibit at the British Library. Was very impressive but overall I didn't see the whole thing because there were so many old people who took SO long reading all the things. It was kind of annoying and I didn't have the patience for it. It was set up like they had a long line of really old books (only surviving full copy of Beowulf from like 1000 AD!!) and in front of them a panel with descriptions. People literally were taking like ten minutes at a paragraph. It was ridiculous. And then as I was finally reading the paragraph, someone would lean over to look at the book and cast the paragraph into shadow. ... Anyway.
So sex. I love the people in my life. Last week I went to bed to a message from Ellen about really fucked up erotic poetry and its interpretation, and I really enjoy that I get these messages of people thinking of me. This morning I woke up to a message from Jackie who said a new girl on RC Review was praising my Clive Owen piece from last year. It makes me so happy! And last night I was skyping with a friend who asked me sexual health advice and I was made really happy again. I love talking about that stuff and discussing it, etc. I feel like this is how I got the British History minor...kind of fell into it because I realized how happy it made me (except empire here...). But yay, sex education. I LOVE Planned Parenthood. I would encourage anyone and everyone in the US to go there because they are the nicest people and the most helpful.
I have started watching Misfits. It's like upper 50s today. I'm going to try to get my hair cut. I am seeing Robyn and Nina. Every other awkward and confusing thing in my life is made slightly better by dancing around my room in my underwear listening to the Rapture, folding my laundry and eating love hearts.
I had my last weekend of work! It was kind of bad because I felt sick the whole weekend from lack of sleep but overall, so happy to be done and so happy that I met some really cool people who definitely helped the time pass and made thing super entertaining. On Sunday, I made mac and cheese for Michelle and I and it was supernice to catch up with her. Surprising how much I can miss that girl when she's gone for a week. I don't mean that in a bad sense, guess we just tight.
Woke up to Obi Tuesday morning and miss him terribly. There are times, like now, when I want nothing more than him to be in London, wandering around with me...I was just thinking about us wandering through Soho, finding that random magazine shop, him driving me crazy being here, but enjoying his company at the same time. Falling asleep in Costa essentially...and just generally getting lost. Omg gingerbread lattes...I think of them fondly.
Yesterday we went to the Evolving English exhibit at the British Library. Was very impressive but overall I didn't see the whole thing because there were so many old people who took SO long reading all the things. It was kind of annoying and I didn't have the patience for it. It was set up like they had a long line of really old books (only surviving full copy of Beowulf from like 1000 AD!!) and in front of them a panel with descriptions. People literally were taking like ten minutes at a paragraph. It was ridiculous. And then as I was finally reading the paragraph, someone would lean over to look at the book and cast the paragraph into shadow. ... Anyway.
So sex. I love the people in my life. Last week I went to bed to a message from Ellen about really fucked up erotic poetry and its interpretation, and I really enjoy that I get these messages of people thinking of me. This morning I woke up to a message from Jackie who said a new girl on RC Review was praising my Clive Owen piece from last year. It makes me so happy! And last night I was skyping with a friend who asked me sexual health advice and I was made really happy again. I love talking about that stuff and discussing it, etc. I feel like this is how I got the British History minor...kind of fell into it because I realized how happy it made me (except empire here...). But yay, sex education. I LOVE Planned Parenthood. I would encourage anyone and everyone in the US to go there because they are the nicest people and the most helpful.
I have started watching Misfits. It's like upper 50s today. I'm going to try to get my hair cut. I am seeing Robyn and Nina. Every other awkward and confusing thing in my life is made slightly better by dancing around my room in my underwear listening to the Rapture, folding my laundry and eating love hearts.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Rejuvenation
Something has clicked. It was somewhere between just being at Waterfront last night and something Cathy said to me, but something has changed. My main goal is no longer just to get through the next few months so I can go home, but now I feel sad that I know I leave so soon. I was doing things that made me happy. I am a legitimate person in the world. Meeting and talking to new people. Going to a school where they throw parties for residence halls with free shots advertised. Participating in a sexy pub quiz and just being in freaking London. I guess I had been thinking a lot about being here and it was really Cathy who acted as the universe to let me articulate how I feel. She asked me (I think) what was the best thing about being here and what was the worst. And I answered that the best thing about London is that you can find all these little niche things because it's such a huge place, there's something for everyone. Like there's this exhibit right now at the National Theatre called "Angelheaded Hipsters" and it's like pictures of Beat poets and pictures that Ginsberg took. There are fetish clubs. There is food from everywhere. The bad thing, I answered, was that I missed nature, and I guess that implies a sense of calm somehow. Like you can't just go for a walk because it's city--there are tiny sidewalks everyone and people, people, people. And if you wanted to go to a park you'd have to travel a ways to get there, and doing so would not always be safe depending on the time and area. It was interesting to finally be able to pinpoint these things.
Last night was my first ever pub quiz and it just felt good to be part of something. To know that sexual health is super important and we were getting people to test for STIs and we were handing out condoms and there was a good sense of power in education. Our team did not place but we had a good time. I had two Sex on the Beach(es) and even though I had only shared a plate of chips for dinner with Cathy, I was not feeling it. I was ready to stop when she sort of turned to me and was like, "Ohhh, let's get another!" So I got a pint of this strawberry-lime cider which was good and then I felt it. It felt so GOOD to just let loose after working for five weekends and feeling down and like a shut-in. It feels good to have things to look forward to. We got the tube home and split up at the stairs cus we were catching opposite branches of the Northern line and I got to the platform and then realized that, hey, that girl looks like Cathy and it was her. Kind of funny. Went home and just felt alive. And I would like to note that it was my first good night's sleep in nearly a week.
Today I did my last bit of SHAG week volunteering and everyone was shitting themselves because the tv show Embarrassing Bodies was at King's to film. They were in Waterfront while we were there filming rugby players (who were later going to be getting tested). Cathy was shitting herself cus the famous doctor guy was right there and he just plainly chatted to us. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay, cus I had to meet Chris for lunch. And that in itself was great. We went to Tas on Borough High Street, which is a Turkish restaurant and got the menu where we got a starter, main course and dessert for only 7 pounds. It was good to see someone from home who knows the ins and outs of me and who totally calls my bullshit worrying (and who told me not to worry). It was nice to catch up, as I hadn't seen him since November.
So overall I think I've got a things under my belt now to tide me through. It's my last weekend of work. Then I am sharing a bottle of wine with Nina, having a pancake party with Robyn, maybe going to a fetish club, and who knows what else could be in store? Lots of museums for sure.
Last night was my first ever pub quiz and it just felt good to be part of something. To know that sexual health is super important and we were getting people to test for STIs and we were handing out condoms and there was a good sense of power in education. Our team did not place but we had a good time. I had two Sex on the Beach(es) and even though I had only shared a plate of chips for dinner with Cathy, I was not feeling it. I was ready to stop when she sort of turned to me and was like, "Ohhh, let's get another!" So I got a pint of this strawberry-lime cider which was good and then I felt it. It felt so GOOD to just let loose after working for five weekends and feeling down and like a shut-in. It feels good to have things to look forward to. We got the tube home and split up at the stairs cus we were catching opposite branches of the Northern line and I got to the platform and then realized that, hey, that girl looks like Cathy and it was her. Kind of funny. Went home and just felt alive. And I would like to note that it was my first good night's sleep in nearly a week.
Today I did my last bit of SHAG week volunteering and everyone was shitting themselves because the tv show Embarrassing Bodies was at King's to film. They were in Waterfront while we were there filming rugby players (who were later going to be getting tested). Cathy was shitting herself cus the famous doctor guy was right there and he just plainly chatted to us. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay, cus I had to meet Chris for lunch. And that in itself was great. We went to Tas on Borough High Street, which is a Turkish restaurant and got the menu where we got a starter, main course and dessert for only 7 pounds. It was good to see someone from home who knows the ins and outs of me and who totally calls my bullshit worrying (and who told me not to worry). It was nice to catch up, as I hadn't seen him since November.
So overall I think I've got a things under my belt now to tide me through. It's my last weekend of work. Then I am sharing a bottle of wine with Nina, having a pancake party with Robyn, maybe going to a fetish club, and who knows what else could be in store? Lots of museums for sure.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Word up, hoes down.
Firstly, I would like to share this video with you: http://www.whitehouse.gov/photos-and-video/video/2011/02/01/kicking-2011-commencement-challenge-0
I just have to say how freaking awesome it is to see Kalamazoo so in the spotlight for good things and to see someone I went to high school with talking to the freaking president. How cool is that? I didn't leave my room until the evening yesterday and it was weird because I watched so much and after watching that video, I had all this patriotic pride and I literally thought, "Oh no, if I leave my room it means I'm not in America anymore and I'll still be in London etc etc etc..."
But I left my room. And went to see The King's Speech. I don't know that I was necessarily into a drama at that time, but it was pretty good. It just kind of made me sad to see Colin Firth look like such a sad puppy the whole time. And by the end, his stammering kind of made me feel a choking sensation in my throat. Anyway. Then I actually did a bit of night walking around in London, which was weird and nice.
Today I did Sexpression volunteering again, this time with Lauren. It was quite good as she had a good little speech when we approached people and we got like two or three people to actually do chlamydia tests. I did one just so I could get a free t-shirt lol. And I've been eating love hearts (tastes like our Smarties but better and look like valentine's hearts) like they're crack cus they're so much better than smarties. Anyways, I've nearly finished my Empire essay, will edit tomorrow, but I'm feeling very apathetic about my Literature and Psychoanalysis essay. I know what I want to write about, but I'm loath to get started cus I have to do some research. The Sexy Pub Quiz is tonight so I think I shall do a bit of drinking cus I deserve it. Cathy and Chris are in town so that should be nice, if not a bit stressful (to see Chris cus we don't have something solid planned yet). I'm sure it will work out.
I just have to say how freaking awesome it is to see Kalamazoo so in the spotlight for good things and to see someone I went to high school with talking to the freaking president. How cool is that? I didn't leave my room until the evening yesterday and it was weird because I watched so much and after watching that video, I had all this patriotic pride and I literally thought, "Oh no, if I leave my room it means I'm not in America anymore and I'll still be in London etc etc etc..."
But I left my room. And went to see The King's Speech. I don't know that I was necessarily into a drama at that time, but it was pretty good. It just kind of made me sad to see Colin Firth look like such a sad puppy the whole time. And by the end, his stammering kind of made me feel a choking sensation in my throat. Anyway. Then I actually did a bit of night walking around in London, which was weird and nice.
Today I did Sexpression volunteering again, this time with Lauren. It was quite good as she had a good little speech when we approached people and we got like two or three people to actually do chlamydia tests. I did one just so I could get a free t-shirt lol. And I've been eating love hearts (tastes like our Smarties but better and look like valentine's hearts) like they're crack cus they're so much better than smarties. Anyways, I've nearly finished my Empire essay, will edit tomorrow, but I'm feeling very apathetic about my Literature and Psychoanalysis essay. I know what I want to write about, but I'm loath to get started cus I have to do some research. The Sexy Pub Quiz is tonight so I think I shall do a bit of drinking cus I deserve it. Cathy and Chris are in town so that should be nice, if not a bit stressful (to see Chris cus we don't have something solid planned yet). I'm sure it will work out.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
A Revelation?
We had good weather for like two days. SUNSHINE. ALL DAY. For two days. I got out of the flat and went to a museum with Greg. Got off at Camden and waited around for like twenty minutes. Got stopped by UNICEF people. Got my picture taken while simultaneously jumping and reading by a nice guy named Garret. Greg and I had a twenty minute walk AROUND REGENT'S PARK IN THE SUNSHINE to get to the MUSEUM OF EVERYTHING. We also got a little lost, missing turns but eventually we found that museum and it was weeeeird. Like funhouse mirrors, disturbing pictures, and really awkward arrangements of stuffed animals (taxidermy). It was just weird and I wrote in their guestbook (under someone who said the exhibit had made them scarred) that it was weird and a little disturbing.
Basically everything I wanted to write has sort of gone out the window. Last night I didn't really sleep. I went to bed shortly after 11 and tossed and turned for like three hours. It was when I was washing my face this morning that I realized that I AM NOT GROWING ANYMORE. I have reached a point of stagnancy. Obi is no longer in Europe to keep me in check and to bounce my shit off of and to discuss life. I am no longer in a dynamic state. This needs to change. Give me strength to let it be so.
Basically everything I wanted to write has sort of gone out the window. Last night I didn't really sleep. I went to bed shortly after 11 and tossed and turned for like three hours. It was when I was washing my face this morning that I realized that I AM NOT GROWING ANYMORE. I have reached a point of stagnancy. Obi is no longer in Europe to keep me in check and to bounce my shit off of and to discuss life. I am no longer in a dynamic state. This needs to change. Give me strength to let it be so.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
If you're one of my adult relatives, please don't read this. For your own safety and my mental wellbeing (talking about sex and Dave Matthews)
This is more for my benefit really. Yesterday I was bumming and Dave Matthews came up on shuffle so I decided to listen to Weekend on the Rocks, which Theo had just given me. Omgggggg. The shit DM sings is like grawr. Like where he says, "There you go, you dirty girl" I'm just like, "Why yes, Dave Matthews, I AM a dirty girl, let's go." And he is kind of raw, growling masculinity sometimes...it's just yummy. Anyways, so that made my day...allllll day, better. And it made for 45 minutes of dancing around my room like a maniac in "trainers" and "tracksuit bottoms."
Also, third season of Psych is soooo good and I get all giddy and giggly and *squee* when Shawn and Juliet have oodles of romantic chemistry and tension. I need manly, golden forearms in my life.
Also, third season of Psych is soooo good and I get all giddy and giggly and *squee* when Shawn and Juliet have oodles of romantic chemistry and tension. I need manly, golden forearms in my life.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Falling into the two days a week thing again...
The weather here lately has finally decided to warm up a little bit. Meaning 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Meaning lighter jacket that doesn't absolutely drown me. This also means that they crack the window in the call center at work and a soft, warmish breeze floats in through the window and I am suddenly reminded of home and how much I want to be there (except just not now when the roads are all muddy and gross and there are black piles of snow everywhere). I want summertime at home. I don't even know specifically what I want about it, just the idea of it. I keep thinking about missing Ann Arbor, too, but I don't even want Ann Arbor. Spring and Summer are reserved for HOME. Cus normally by the time April comes, I want nothing more than to get the fuck out of pretentious-ass Ann Arbor and go home where we keep it real. I can't formulate it more clearly than this so I apologize. Just know that I've still got that underlying homesickness. I must say though, Robyn's talk of sitting in parks (on blankets??!) and eating sounds like a good way to leave London. I also know that I'm going to horribly depressed when I get home. It's hard to feel stuck between two places/mindsets.
I think I might be getting sick. I've had a tickle at night for the past two days and it manifested a bit more last night cus I knew I was going to have to get up. So I had some Airborne for breakfast. And then went to a slightly interesting, but also boring! lecture. And then I got my coursework back. Two British Bs, which, after reading the commentary on my paper, I have a strange feeling aren't really all that different from American Bs. Cus what it comes down to is that my writing didn't really progress that much--I only had to do more of it. And it was still average writing. I was a bit annoyed that Gordon commented that my essay was a bit awkward, but that confidence would come in time, etc. While I feel that that's somewhat true, if you're writing about something that you don't necessarily connect with or put that much effort into, it's not going to be the greatest. Because I was really into what I wrote for British Literature and Film, and I got higher marks. Oh well. Doomed to be average until something comes along that I actually really enjoy.
Last item of business is what sort of crashed my self-esteem today. I know I'm not "in" your group. I don't take every class with you or know every single little nuance of being a student at King's, but I just don't understand why it's so hard for people to be more open. If you literally make eye contact with someone you know in the hallway, holding their just-received coursework, why would you just walk right by them?? Who does that??? I don't need to needle my way in and replace anyone. I'm only here for three more months. Why can't people just be NICE? I know I'm being a bit sensitive but like, what the hell. It bothers me that little stuff like this bothers me so much. It shows that I let people in and am not treating myself kindly. I don't take good care of myself emotionally sometimes. This needs to change. At the risk of being a social outcast? Or ostracising my friends who are actually my friends? Augh.
The next two weeks are going to be hellish, but with great scheduling, anything can happen.
I think I might be getting sick. I've had a tickle at night for the past two days and it manifested a bit more last night cus I knew I was going to have to get up. So I had some Airborne for breakfast. And then went to a slightly interesting, but also boring! lecture. And then I got my coursework back. Two British Bs, which, after reading the commentary on my paper, I have a strange feeling aren't really all that different from American Bs. Cus what it comes down to is that my writing didn't really progress that much--I only had to do more of it. And it was still average writing. I was a bit annoyed that Gordon commented that my essay was a bit awkward, but that confidence would come in time, etc. While I feel that that's somewhat true, if you're writing about something that you don't necessarily connect with or put that much effort into, it's not going to be the greatest. Because I was really into what I wrote for British Literature and Film, and I got higher marks. Oh well. Doomed to be average until something comes along that I actually really enjoy.
Last item of business is what sort of crashed my self-esteem today. I know I'm not "in" your group. I don't take every class with you or know every single little nuance of being a student at King's, but I just don't understand why it's so hard for people to be more open. If you literally make eye contact with someone you know in the hallway, holding their just-received coursework, why would you just walk right by them?? Who does that??? I don't need to needle my way in and replace anyone. I'm only here for three more months. Why can't people just be NICE? I know I'm being a bit sensitive but like, what the hell. It bothers me that little stuff like this bothers me so much. It shows that I let people in and am not treating myself kindly. I don't take good care of myself emotionally sometimes. This needs to change. At the risk of being a social outcast? Or ostracising my friends who are actually my friends? Augh.
The next two weeks are going to be hellish, but with great scheduling, anything can happen.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
oh my ga...not really
I feel like it should be noted that there is a girl in my creative writing class who has an iPad, and then before class today I saw she was holding both a blackberry and an iPhone 4!!! I just want to know WHY.
Anyway, life is still complicated. But after my rather refreshing hiatus, I read Emma in three and a half days and watched a ton of Psych and got one day of not leaving even though I got all dressed and nearly walked out the door before I realised I didn't want to trek to the museum. Lolz. SOOOOO. Literature and Psychoanalysis has me soooo confused this week. Apparently, and I kind of overlooked this, we're supposed to be preparing hardcore questions to bring to seminar in order to discuss and then expound on them for our mid-semester essay! I forgot this week in my craze of reading, and though I read most of "The Unconscious", most of it went over my head and I had barely even a vague idea of what was going on in discussion today. OMG help. I have NO idea what to write about for that essay. EVERYTHING IS OVERWHELMING ME. I need to get through the next two and a half weeks and then it will be ok. A little more ok.
So yes, I'm quite overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to accomplish in that time and basically, I'm so tired from reading the past four days that I am going to knock off tonight and watch oodles of Psych and get Obi's last night in Spain and eat a fucking chocolate muffin like a fatass and enjoy every other minute of it!
Anyway, life is still complicated. But after my rather refreshing hiatus, I read Emma in three and a half days and watched a ton of Psych and got one day of not leaving even though I got all dressed and nearly walked out the door before I realised I didn't want to trek to the museum. Lolz. SOOOOO. Literature and Psychoanalysis has me soooo confused this week. Apparently, and I kind of overlooked this, we're supposed to be preparing hardcore questions to bring to seminar in order to discuss and then expound on them for our mid-semester essay! I forgot this week in my craze of reading, and though I read most of "The Unconscious", most of it went over my head and I had barely even a vague idea of what was going on in discussion today. OMG help. I have NO idea what to write about for that essay. EVERYTHING IS OVERWHELMING ME. I need to get through the next two and a half weeks and then it will be ok. A little more ok.
So yes, I'm quite overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to accomplish in that time and basically, I'm so tired from reading the past four days that I am going to knock off tonight and watch oodles of Psych and get Obi's last night in Spain and eat a fucking chocolate muffin like a fatass and enjoy every other minute of it!
Monday, January 31, 2011
There's nothing you can't aaaassskkkk, on the Savage Lovecasttt....
So I meant to save this until later but I need to just write it down before I'm too much of a chickenshit, before it continues to eat me up a little.
Last week was little better than the first week of classes. I got far too little sleep for not having my weekends, and the tiredness left me feeling physically unwell. On Thursday night I was driven to just cry which only helped a little bit. Friday was our first day at the Globe, and I was honestly not impressed. It was bitter cold and we sat in the Globe (open-air theatre) for an hour and it was more or less the same lecture I received there back in November when I went for Jacobean. So that was a bit disappointing. I booked it to Strand after that to see about how long it would take and it was half an hour all in all and I was beat to shit by the time I made it up to the history classroom. I had skipped history lecture for Globe that day but I did do two of the readings so I had some semblance of what was going on. Niko came back to that class which meant more messing around towards the end than I should have done. Then I madly quoted America fuck yeah before I ran off so I could make it back to the Globe in time for my workshop. I literally took a bus just around the corner to the end of Waterloo bridge and then the wind was against me the whole way. That day was one of the only days that I've blatantly thought that I hate London. I actually made it to the Globe with 13 min to spare apparently, and I collapsed on a bench with a headache.
There was a boy I had spoken to in lecture sitting on the ground and Michelle was talking to Sarah, so I went and pow-wowed with him on the ground and found out his name is Ollie. I told him that only British guys could pull off that name and we laughed about how nasally it sounded coming from me. I found out he was born in America and came here when he was 7. He did a near-perfect American accent and it was really amusing. Our workshop was just us doing acting exercises to explore the space of the theatre but again, it was so cold that holding the sheet with the monologue made my hands hurt. I wasn't a happy camper and was grateful when it was done. I think the other sessions should be better though.
Work this weekend was ok. I'm officially halfway through, although I did ask if I could add one weekday shift so we'll see about that. Saturdays are always the best for reaching people. We called teachers, who were generally really nice. And UCL alumni. I feel like the London graduates are the civilised ones. They are always willing to give more time. I actually was chatting with a few of them. Some guy told me he liked my accent, but why anyone would ever like an American accent is beyond me. Another guy was sooo nice; while he looked for his postcode, we chatted about living in London. It's calls like that that make me happy and make the time go faster. Sundays always drag though, especially towards the end. You feel like shit for bothering people on a Sunday afternoon/evening. And we worked right up until the end. But there was a lot of work camaraderie. Richard and Florien have an annoying tendency to compare people's jobs and how much they make and they judge the people who went to school for something like fine art when they're not employed six months after graduating. So I finally told them to lay off and it turned into a joke, which I was grateful for. James, who was sitting at the next table over, would always be just sitting there smirking and throwing in his bit, entertained by our conversations. We were talking about American culture and someone asserted that hip hop was American culture. More jokes. It was just funny and I felt slaphappy because no one was picking up the phone so there was lots of time for here and there comments. Also, I found out how to pronounce Gloucestershire (cus we started on that uni as well). I was so nervous each time I had to say it. And Sara is so nice. I'm happy that I met her cus even when she was late yesterday and sat at a different table, we both still moved together to chat at break times.
Now for the heavy bit. When I want it, I need a lot of attention. Constantly. And no one can give me that. I've been mulling over things for the past week (cue my tired sickness and too much music and realizing that I just needed QUIET to make the debate in my head stop), and I guess I realised that I don't know how to take care of myself. Not when it comes down to it. I look to other people, but it took until today to see that no one is capable of the job right now. I don't know that it's fair of me to ask. After I wasted my time last night, I realised that I put myself out there too much. I make myself available all the time and that means available to be stomped on, even if it's not meant. I kind of can't wait for work to be over because I just need a sleep in day where I do nothing and don't leave the building. I don't think I'll really get that for the next two weeks. I guess I can deal with that, but I just need the mental health day. I feel like I need to cocoon away, to wrap up inside myself and not let anyone in. Cue just watching Psych (my brother was right, when it was actually laugh-out-loud funny) and being with me. I don't know. I feel sad. Yes, that's right, I feel fucking sad. I have the right to be. But I guess it's up to me and me alone to get over it. In due course I suppose.
Well, I have to go read about rape and mutilation...Titus Andronicus...ta.
Last week was little better than the first week of classes. I got far too little sleep for not having my weekends, and the tiredness left me feeling physically unwell. On Thursday night I was driven to just cry which only helped a little bit. Friday was our first day at the Globe, and I was honestly not impressed. It was bitter cold and we sat in the Globe (open-air theatre) for an hour and it was more or less the same lecture I received there back in November when I went for Jacobean. So that was a bit disappointing. I booked it to Strand after that to see about how long it would take and it was half an hour all in all and I was beat to shit by the time I made it up to the history classroom. I had skipped history lecture for Globe that day but I did do two of the readings so I had some semblance of what was going on. Niko came back to that class which meant more messing around towards the end than I should have done. Then I madly quoted America fuck yeah before I ran off so I could make it back to the Globe in time for my workshop. I literally took a bus just around the corner to the end of Waterloo bridge and then the wind was against me the whole way. That day was one of the only days that I've blatantly thought that I hate London. I actually made it to the Globe with 13 min to spare apparently, and I collapsed on a bench with a headache.
There was a boy I had spoken to in lecture sitting on the ground and Michelle was talking to Sarah, so I went and pow-wowed with him on the ground and found out his name is Ollie. I told him that only British guys could pull off that name and we laughed about how nasally it sounded coming from me. I found out he was born in America and came here when he was 7. He did a near-perfect American accent and it was really amusing. Our workshop was just us doing acting exercises to explore the space of the theatre but again, it was so cold that holding the sheet with the monologue made my hands hurt. I wasn't a happy camper and was grateful when it was done. I think the other sessions should be better though.
Work this weekend was ok. I'm officially halfway through, although I did ask if I could add one weekday shift so we'll see about that. Saturdays are always the best for reaching people. We called teachers, who were generally really nice. And UCL alumni. I feel like the London graduates are the civilised ones. They are always willing to give more time. I actually was chatting with a few of them. Some guy told me he liked my accent, but why anyone would ever like an American accent is beyond me. Another guy was sooo nice; while he looked for his postcode, we chatted about living in London. It's calls like that that make me happy and make the time go faster. Sundays always drag though, especially towards the end. You feel like shit for bothering people on a Sunday afternoon/evening. And we worked right up until the end. But there was a lot of work camaraderie. Richard and Florien have an annoying tendency to compare people's jobs and how much they make and they judge the people who went to school for something like fine art when they're not employed six months after graduating. So I finally told them to lay off and it turned into a joke, which I was grateful for. James, who was sitting at the next table over, would always be just sitting there smirking and throwing in his bit, entertained by our conversations. We were talking about American culture and someone asserted that hip hop was American culture. More jokes. It was just funny and I felt slaphappy because no one was picking up the phone so there was lots of time for here and there comments. Also, I found out how to pronounce Gloucestershire (cus we started on that uni as well). I was so nervous each time I had to say it. And Sara is so nice. I'm happy that I met her cus even when she was late yesterday and sat at a different table, we both still moved together to chat at break times.
Now for the heavy bit. When I want it, I need a lot of attention. Constantly. And no one can give me that. I've been mulling over things for the past week (cue my tired sickness and too much music and realizing that I just needed QUIET to make the debate in my head stop), and I guess I realised that I don't know how to take care of myself. Not when it comes down to it. I look to other people, but it took until today to see that no one is capable of the job right now. I don't know that it's fair of me to ask. After I wasted my time last night, I realised that I put myself out there too much. I make myself available all the time and that means available to be stomped on, even if it's not meant. I kind of can't wait for work to be over because I just need a sleep in day where I do nothing and don't leave the building. I don't think I'll really get that for the next two weeks. I guess I can deal with that, but I just need the mental health day. I feel like I need to cocoon away, to wrap up inside myself and not let anyone in. Cue just watching Psych (my brother was right, when it was actually laugh-out-loud funny) and being with me. I don't know. I feel sad. Yes, that's right, I feel fucking sad. I have the right to be. But I guess it's up to me and me alone to get over it. In due course I suppose.
Well, I have to go read about rape and mutilation...Titus Andronicus...ta.
Monday, January 24, 2011
blah blah blah
I don't know why I'm blogging necessarily. I don't have much to say but I feel like typing and I feel like squaring away my life. Because that's been happening a bit more maybe in the past two days. I am still getting over the toothness...I really want to eat lots and lots of foods that I can't eat and chewing on one side of my mouth is not fun. I'm worried about site infection because for the first two days after the extraction I rinsed with salt water only like twice with like an eight-hour gap in between. And then I took salt in a tupperware container to work to do it lots of times there. Work is ok and bearable only because I do it two days in a row. Although Sundays can be quite hard, as people are having tea and don't like the intrusion. But yesterday we got out half an hour early so that was nice (I hope we're still getting paid). Lea, Michelle, and Mini came over for some tea and we chatted for about two hours and then I talked to Theo for about two hours and even though I was really tired, I listened to lovecast before bed and did sudoku. I am going to buy a new sudoku book this week (I don't know if I can find a new puzzle to get into). Also, I don't know how/if I'm going to be able to break this habit/ritual that I've gotten used to should I become swamped with homework. I wasn't last week cus there wasn't loads of homework and I didn't have access to history readings. Also, I have a conundrum about missing history classes this semester due to Globeness. But I can't give up the Globe and I must talk to Jonathan and hope he understands.
I think the best thing about this semester is going to be my teacher for two of my classes (good thing I like her!): Literature and Psychoanalysis and Creative Writing: the Novel. I love her. She is wacky and cool and does loads of accents and the correct pronunciation of German, French, etc. names and her accent reminds me of Drew Barrymore in Ever After. It's twinged with an American accent because (I'm guessing) she does an American accent quite a bit. She is uh-mazing. I am a bit more reserved in CW because it's a bigger class and I know a lot of the people from classes last semester so I'm shy, but she mentioned erotica like three times as a genre so I had to go up to her after class and tell her that was so cool because I write erotica. I think it's going to be a good semester as far as those classes go. Reading thus far for litpsych (as I will call it for short) has not been heavy, but I think the final paper is going to kill me (4500 word pyschoanalytic paper). And in creative writing we get to read some really fun and good stuff (Middlemarch finally, Ellen!). Yeah. :)
Today I haven't done much. Lots of Psych (the show, I guess I've decided to watch it from the beginning), lovecast/sudoku, and a bit of reading for school. Tomorrow I do Sexpression again, which I don't necessarily look forward to because it involves getting up to an alarm. And I teach STIs again...blah. But relationships on Thurs, so new stuff! OH. Most important bit is I picked up London Student (a newspaper) on Friday and I have planned some more museum touristy stuff for the next few weeks! Finally going to get out there again! Also, I am planning rewards for myself to get through the semester: haircut (needed) for making it halfway through work to be schedule in about a week's time, and possibly some nail polish, and a small amount of retail therapy some point after that. Within reason, mind you, just one new pair of pants and a shirt maybe. At Uniqlo...I was looking at their website and they have some pants for fifteen pounds. So I think I'll be ok.
I think the best thing about this semester is going to be my teacher for two of my classes (good thing I like her!): Literature and Psychoanalysis and Creative Writing: the Novel. I love her. She is wacky and cool and does loads of accents and the correct pronunciation of German, French, etc. names and her accent reminds me of Drew Barrymore in Ever After. It's twinged with an American accent because (I'm guessing) she does an American accent quite a bit. She is uh-mazing. I am a bit more reserved in CW because it's a bigger class and I know a lot of the people from classes last semester so I'm shy, but she mentioned erotica like three times as a genre so I had to go up to her after class and tell her that was so cool because I write erotica. I think it's going to be a good semester as far as those classes go. Reading thus far for litpsych (as I will call it for short) has not been heavy, but I think the final paper is going to kill me (4500 word pyschoanalytic paper). And in creative writing we get to read some really fun and good stuff (Middlemarch finally, Ellen!). Yeah. :)
Today I haven't done much. Lots of Psych (the show, I guess I've decided to watch it from the beginning), lovecast/sudoku, and a bit of reading for school. Tomorrow I do Sexpression again, which I don't necessarily look forward to because it involves getting up to an alarm. And I teach STIs again...blah. But relationships on Thurs, so new stuff! OH. Most important bit is I picked up London Student (a newspaper) on Friday and I have planned some more museum touristy stuff for the next few weeks! Finally going to get out there again! Also, I am planning rewards for myself to get through the semester: haircut (needed) for making it halfway through work to be schedule in about a week's time, and possibly some nail polish, and a small amount of retail therapy some point after that. Within reason, mind you, just one new pair of pants and a shirt maybe. At Uniqlo...I was looking at their website and they have some pants for fifteen pounds. So I think I'll be ok.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
bad first week of classes...and it isn't even over yet.
Ok so Monday was awful cus I have to get up at 7:30am for ONE 9-10am class. It was really bad, like walking into class 40 min late cus of lots of mix-ups bad. Then I had words with the professor afterward, being an assertive, in-your-face American. Then I went the fuck home and sulked and was tired and ate good food. That night I had a REALLY good conversation with Obi. <3
Yesterday I had coffee with Mini, which was really nice. Unfortunately, I just barely ate all day. Then I went to the CW event and munched on a bunch of random shit until I was eating some crusty bread and my tooth shell just shattered! Bleeding a bit, freaked out. Katie let me use her phone to call Mum, so I did and then left, taking the tube so I could get home faster, awkwardly holding a bloody tissue and trying not to cry.
So basically it's a baby tooth that they identified before I left as eating away at itself and that it could fall out at any time while I was gone. The plan was to get it pulled as soon as I got home and then have an implant put in then a cap. Now the plan was sped up. It didn't actually hurt, it was just sensitive. I went home and called the nhs dentist line and they weren't much help and I called the emergency line and the lady was like angry at me for calling! I mean, they can't really blame a kid for freaking out alone in a foreign country! So then I sat online for hours talking to people to distract myself. I talked to Kyle's gf, Natalie, who's a 4th year dental student and she was really reassuring. I went to bed at quarter to ten but every time I was nearly asleep, I caught myself and wouldn't let myself fall asleep cus I was worried about the tooth. Finally I fell asleep in the wee hours and my alarm interrupted a good dream. I printed off the letter from the peridontist and went to Guy's hospital. They have six floors of dental stuff! I filled out paperwork at the emergency place and then got called back and a student looked at me and then presented it to her supervisor. Then I had an x-ray done and sat for an hour in the waiting room. Finally, the supervisor got me again and told me she was just going to pull it there because by the time she scheduled me elsewhere it might not have been done until tomorrow.
Cue me tearing up slightly, freaking out about shots and being alone in the country and shots in my mouth that I can feel going deep in and if I opened my eyes seeing the needle still there. Not ok. Cold, numb mouth really unnerving. Feeling the strain in my jaw as she pushed the tooth out unnerving. Apparently because the tooth had a massive hole, gum tissue had just grown up inside it. All of this was free. Then I was on my way, lip trembling, wanting to cry a little bit still on the walk home. Overwhelming urge to just drool but didn't want to freak people out and didn't have a tissue handy to wipe my lip. First thing in the flat is go to kitchen and drool blood goo into the sink (I rinsed of course) and then realized there were no paper towels. Sigh. Spent the next four hours on the computer skyping and watching lots of tv and starving my brains out. Finally made ramen and cuddled and then made it out to Costcutter for some groceries. Treated myself a bit to fancy smoothie drinks. Read for psychoanalysis and did podcast in bed. Fluffy duvetcloud :). Then went back on computer with yummy tomato soup. Want sausages. And real food. And pancakes. Dear sweet jesus, pancakes. I'm going to compile a list of foods to eat in the first week of my return home. There is no applesauce here. That is like my go-to mouth-on-the-fritz food. Panera on the way home from the airport, pancakes and hearty breakfast the next day...I am going to live it up. Until then, I am just a chapped-lip, dehydrated, headachey, mouthachy girl.
Yesterday I had coffee with Mini, which was really nice. Unfortunately, I just barely ate all day. Then I went to the CW event and munched on a bunch of random shit until I was eating some crusty bread and my tooth shell just shattered! Bleeding a bit, freaked out. Katie let me use her phone to call Mum, so I did and then left, taking the tube so I could get home faster, awkwardly holding a bloody tissue and trying not to cry.
So basically it's a baby tooth that they identified before I left as eating away at itself and that it could fall out at any time while I was gone. The plan was to get it pulled as soon as I got home and then have an implant put in then a cap. Now the plan was sped up. It didn't actually hurt, it was just sensitive. I went home and called the nhs dentist line and they weren't much help and I called the emergency line and the lady was like angry at me for calling! I mean, they can't really blame a kid for freaking out alone in a foreign country! So then I sat online for hours talking to people to distract myself. I talked to Kyle's gf, Natalie, who's a 4th year dental student and she was really reassuring. I went to bed at quarter to ten but every time I was nearly asleep, I caught myself and wouldn't let myself fall asleep cus I was worried about the tooth. Finally I fell asleep in the wee hours and my alarm interrupted a good dream. I printed off the letter from the peridontist and went to Guy's hospital. They have six floors of dental stuff! I filled out paperwork at the emergency place and then got called back and a student looked at me and then presented it to her supervisor. Then I had an x-ray done and sat for an hour in the waiting room. Finally, the supervisor got me again and told me she was just going to pull it there because by the time she scheduled me elsewhere it might not have been done until tomorrow.
Cue me tearing up slightly, freaking out about shots and being alone in the country and shots in my mouth that I can feel going deep in and if I opened my eyes seeing the needle still there. Not ok. Cold, numb mouth really unnerving. Feeling the strain in my jaw as she pushed the tooth out unnerving. Apparently because the tooth had a massive hole, gum tissue had just grown up inside it. All of this was free. Then I was on my way, lip trembling, wanting to cry a little bit still on the walk home. Overwhelming urge to just drool but didn't want to freak people out and didn't have a tissue handy to wipe my lip. First thing in the flat is go to kitchen and drool blood goo into the sink (I rinsed of course) and then realized there were no paper towels. Sigh. Spent the next four hours on the computer skyping and watching lots of tv and starving my brains out. Finally made ramen and cuddled and then made it out to Costcutter for some groceries. Treated myself a bit to fancy smoothie drinks. Read for psychoanalysis and did podcast in bed. Fluffy duvetcloud :). Then went back on computer with yummy tomato soup. Want sausages. And real food. And pancakes. Dear sweet jesus, pancakes. I'm going to compile a list of foods to eat in the first week of my return home. There is no applesauce here. That is like my go-to mouth-on-the-fritz food. Panera on the way home from the airport, pancakes and hearty breakfast the next day...I am going to live it up. Until then, I am just a chapped-lip, dehydrated, headachey, mouthachy girl.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
SO. CLOSE.
Hey y'all. So I had my first weekend of work. And it wasn't too bad!! The only time it got bad was towards the end today when I was just tired of fucking calling people and it was robotic: call, ring ring ring ring, leave message, hang up, repeat. for like twenty straight minutes. On the bright side I've met some nice people. The girl who sat next to me both days was really nice. Her name is Sara and she's a second year at Queen Mary. And across from me sat a Romanian guy who's studying at King's named Florian. Yesterday a girl named Folu sat at our table and she shared half her sandwich with me when I had forgotten mine. :) Today a British guy called Richard sat at our table (he sat at it yesterday but kind of got kicked out because he had already done it to the more quiet back area). I can't quite figure him out because he's nice when you talk to him but isn't great at continuing conversation. He's doing an MA at King's and we discussed how horribly disorganized King's is. I dunno, so overall work is going well. I made some stupid mistakes in the first hour of the first day but it got better. I had to call one guy back because I missed a whole section of information. I had only like two or three callers this weekend who were really augh. One woman thought the information was too personal so she refused to do the survey and another woman today kind of refused to do it but I think she actually took down the link to do it online. So that's good.
This is really all I have to report other than that I listened to an album today and it blew the fuck out of my mind and that's exciting.
This is really all I have to report other than that I listened to an album today and it blew the fuck out of my mind and that's exciting.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Almost there
So I'm in the middle of another extremely vivid (and this time around extremely fucked up) dream week. Last night's dream was some sort of continuation of the night before. Marshal, Obi, Chelsey and I were having one of our movie times like normal. We were watching a horror movie and then somehow I was on facebook. Then it was my birthday (these details just bled into the dream). And Theo's mum came to the door to wish me happy birthday. Luke was in the background. We talked for like fifteen minutes and by the time I came back there was this huuuuuuge IM list all in one window of all the people who had facebook IMed me in the short time I was gone sending me happy birthday messages but now they were all offline and I felt bad for missing them. The movie was still going on. Marshal was a strong presence in the dream. And then at the back of my mind I knew that at the end of the day I was going to get to see Theo again, and I even had this idea that he was going to come surprise me and show up while we were watching the horror movie. And then I woke up to my alarm. That was the tamest dream...my brother won't tell you the details of the others cus he told me never to tell him again lol.
Yesterday I was so bored I was sad and thus I grasped for old tv shows. I watched an eppy of the IT Crowd and it made me laugh out loud and it was just last summer wrapped up in a funny package. (So I've been watching it more today). I trekked out into the humidity to see Nina, and man, was that worth it. We painted our nails and kind of ignored this one show but overall we talked a lot and it was GOOD talk. And slightly unnerving that I kept making her just burst out laughing (unnerving because I didn't know why), but I really do feel like, not that we're really similar or have the same opinions on some things, cus we don't, but that the way we talk about things and maybe approach things or something is largely the same. I feel like good conversation comes easy with her, like I'm not trying really hard and we can talk about serious things or funny things or whatever. It was just a good evening.
Today was my official Irish Lit exam, and boy, do they take their exams seriously here. A huge conference hall acrossish London with like 1000 seats of multiple exams happening at the same time. And I literally started not feeling well just as I walked to the tube station. But I made it through the exam and honestly, that's the best I think I've ever felt about a prior-disclosed exam. I only prepared like three days in advance and only looked over my notes like two times today. I think what really helped was that one of the questions I really identified with or meant something to me. And that's something I was talking to Nina about last night--studying literature here I feel like I'm somehow getting closer to the text than I have at home. Maybe it's the small groups. Maybe it's being in England. Maybe its the no pressure throughout the semester and then lots of essay choice at the end. Last night I thought back to my satire class from last year--it was great, I loved the teacher, I loved the books, but I never really got close to them. In class it was kind of a what's what of pop culture referencing and thus only like four guys in the class got everything thrown out. It was entertaining but I didn't take much away from it. Whereas in my classes here, even though I've definitely felt like a lot of the stuff I learned was bullshit or I would never use again, somehow there was an essay at the end that I really connected with and gave me some saving grace for what I went through in the semester. Majoring in English here isn't as big as it is at Michigan, so maybe that's why I feel like things get more personal. Half Michigan are fucking English majors frequently majoring in something else and it's just a mess. While I do like being able to pick from a bigger variety of classes, I do value the experience I've had thus far here. And I just love books. Also, I told Nina that her book collection just makes me happy cus we have similar taste and because some of the stuff she had to read for class was by authors that I had had to read. I've just done so much fucking growing. Podcast, new people, literature. Love it love it.
Yesterday I was so bored I was sad and thus I grasped for old tv shows. I watched an eppy of the IT Crowd and it made me laugh out loud and it was just last summer wrapped up in a funny package. (So I've been watching it more today). I trekked out into the humidity to see Nina, and man, was that worth it. We painted our nails and kind of ignored this one show but overall we talked a lot and it was GOOD talk. And slightly unnerving that I kept making her just burst out laughing (unnerving because I didn't know why), but I really do feel like, not that we're really similar or have the same opinions on some things, cus we don't, but that the way we talk about things and maybe approach things or something is largely the same. I feel like good conversation comes easy with her, like I'm not trying really hard and we can talk about serious things or funny things or whatever. It was just a good evening.
Today was my official Irish Lit exam, and boy, do they take their exams seriously here. A huge conference hall acrossish London with like 1000 seats of multiple exams happening at the same time. And I literally started not feeling well just as I walked to the tube station. But I made it through the exam and honestly, that's the best I think I've ever felt about a prior-disclosed exam. I only prepared like three days in advance and only looked over my notes like two times today. I think what really helped was that one of the questions I really identified with or meant something to me. And that's something I was talking to Nina about last night--studying literature here I feel like I'm somehow getting closer to the text than I have at home. Maybe it's the small groups. Maybe it's being in England. Maybe its the no pressure throughout the semester and then lots of essay choice at the end. Last night I thought back to my satire class from last year--it was great, I loved the teacher, I loved the books, but I never really got close to them. In class it was kind of a what's what of pop culture referencing and thus only like four guys in the class got everything thrown out. It was entertaining but I didn't take much away from it. Whereas in my classes here, even though I've definitely felt like a lot of the stuff I learned was bullshit or I would never use again, somehow there was an essay at the end that I really connected with and gave me some saving grace for what I went through in the semester. Majoring in English here isn't as big as it is at Michigan, so maybe that's why I feel like things get more personal. Half Michigan are fucking English majors frequently majoring in something else and it's just a mess. While I do like being able to pick from a bigger variety of classes, I do value the experience I've had thus far here. And I just love books. Also, I told Nina that her book collection just makes me happy cus we have similar taste and because some of the stuff she had to read for class was by authors that I had had to read. I've just done so much fucking growing. Podcast, new people, literature. Love it love it.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
OMG CAN CLASSES START NOW PLZKTHXBYE
I'm going a little stir-crazy what with the nothing to do. Although I don't know HOW to do homework anymore...it's kind of going to be a problem once classes do actually begin (I don't even think they are anymore).
Biggest thing on my plate that just happened was I had my two sessions for Sexpression and I kind of feel like death right now because I've been up since 7:30am. I would say all in all they went rather well. It's great to have another volunteer with me though because I'm good at presenting the information but the other people have saved my ass with the good questions like, "Why do you think that...?" and generally thinking on their feet. Augh. But I went, I tried, I did. And the kids today were especially responsive and knowledgeable about STIs, which surprised me, but it was great that they didn't need a LOT of prompting. It was weird getting home today at like 11am and it feeling like the middle of the afternoon. I watched QI for like an hour and a half and I felt like it was 3pm when it was only 12:30! So I actually did some work and organized fully one of my essays for Friday. Then I went onto the cloud duvetland and read a bit for the second essay until my eyes failed me. Blah de blah. MORE PODCAST and sudoku times.
Is it weird that I consider it a treat to myself to get under the covers to study or to podcast and sudoku before bed? Oh man, that sounds so nice right now...UM. As in U of M, as in want Ann Arbor and friends and autumn in Michigan and a HOUSE and stuff. January in England is fucking humid and too warm and I can't properly enjoy chai when it's this warm and my hair is froing and I just generally don't approve...England, cut it out. I'm going to write soon. I know it.
Biggest thing on my plate that just happened was I had my two sessions for Sexpression and I kind of feel like death right now because I've been up since 7:30am. I would say all in all they went rather well. It's great to have another volunteer with me though because I'm good at presenting the information but the other people have saved my ass with the good questions like, "Why do you think that...?" and generally thinking on their feet. Augh. But I went, I tried, I did. And the kids today were especially responsive and knowledgeable about STIs, which surprised me, but it was great that they didn't need a LOT of prompting. It was weird getting home today at like 11am and it feeling like the middle of the afternoon. I watched QI for like an hour and a half and I felt like it was 3pm when it was only 12:30! So I actually did some work and organized fully one of my essays for Friday. Then I went onto the cloud duvetland and read a bit for the second essay until my eyes failed me. Blah de blah. MORE PODCAST and sudoku times.
Is it weird that I consider it a treat to myself to get under the covers to study or to podcast and sudoku before bed? Oh man, that sounds so nice right now...UM. As in U of M, as in want Ann Arbor and friends and autumn in Michigan and a HOUSE and stuff. January in England is fucking humid and too warm and I can't properly enjoy chai when it's this warm and my hair is froing and I just generally don't approve...England, cut it out. I'm going to write soon. I know it.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
STILL alive
Ok so my essays are done and nearly ready to turn in for tomorrow. I have to print some copies tomorrow and cross my fingers that the computer labs aren't a mess. Robyn was sooo nice as to print off one copy of each for me even with cover sheets. Amazing. I am excited to see her tomorrow and to make her a mix soon. I take mix cds probably way too seriously. I attempted to make Rachel one over the summer and I filled a whole sheet of paper with song titles only to abandon it eventually cus I couldn't narrow it down.
It didn't occur to me until last night that people were actually going to be returning today and I've grown so used to having the flat be just me and Arif and Alison a bit that I admit that I'm a little resentful that it's full again. But it is a shared space so I will deal with it. I have my own things now and that makes me happier. My room is clean again. Alison changed the vacuum bag today so it works again and my floor is clean! The simple things in life. :) I also returned a stack of books to Maughan today and paid my 3 pound something in fines (oh essays). Michelle, Judith and I went to Wagamama for lunch this afternoon and it was quite good. I got the miso ramen. To drink I got the Orange Beet Down which was orange juice, apple juice, pomegranate and beets! Interesting.
I got my CRB check FINALLY in the mail the other day, which I needed in order to volunteer for Sexpression so I signed up for two sessions this week. As far as I know, I am teaching contraception on Tuesday, which I believe is to 16-17-year-olds. And then on Wednesday I will be teaching STIs. Both times I am teaching with other first-time volunteers, which makes me a bit nervous, but at least I'm not doing it alone, which I would be more scared of. Overall I am excited. As much as I love-hated being stuck in my room forever, it should prove good to get out of the flat and do something positive.
Charli knocked on my door today when she got home and it was nice to see her again. I'm definitely glad we bonded those weeks ago even if it was over a negative thing. We chatted with much of the flat and later our new flatmate, whose name I am unable to spell right now so I will leave that until later, arrived and we all kind of got up in her face and chatted to her. She seems quite likable. :) Overall this semester I know I will be doing my thing and trying to not let the small things get to me. I grew so much last semester and learned even more about myself and began changing myself for the better. I hope to not let petty things get me down the next few months. I know I can do it. Oh, the other thing I wanted to note is that the past two or three days I've been listening to tons and tons of the Savage Love podcast (by Dan Savage) and I'm so happy Obi introduced me to him because as much as I thought I knew about sex and sexual health, I'm learning so much! And about relationships in general and life. Sometimes it's good to get the bitchy, blunt advice that is so different from how I would normally approach a situation. And I think that I will definitely try to internalize his way of thinking a little bit more, or I will at least consider things he's said re: relationships in the future. I am glad that it's still ongoing and that there are over 200 podcasts on my iPod right now because I'm only in the 20s and I am really, really enjoying it.
Here's to a good exam week, first volunteering experience, first work experience!
It didn't occur to me until last night that people were actually going to be returning today and I've grown so used to having the flat be just me and Arif and Alison a bit that I admit that I'm a little resentful that it's full again. But it is a shared space so I will deal with it. I have my own things now and that makes me happier. My room is clean again. Alison changed the vacuum bag today so it works again and my floor is clean! The simple things in life. :) I also returned a stack of books to Maughan today and paid my 3 pound something in fines (oh essays). Michelle, Judith and I went to Wagamama for lunch this afternoon and it was quite good. I got the miso ramen. To drink I got the Orange Beet Down which was orange juice, apple juice, pomegranate and beets! Interesting.
I got my CRB check FINALLY in the mail the other day, which I needed in order to volunteer for Sexpression so I signed up for two sessions this week. As far as I know, I am teaching contraception on Tuesday, which I believe is to 16-17-year-olds. And then on Wednesday I will be teaching STIs. Both times I am teaching with other first-time volunteers, which makes me a bit nervous, but at least I'm not doing it alone, which I would be more scared of. Overall I am excited. As much as I love-hated being stuck in my room forever, it should prove good to get out of the flat and do something positive.
Charli knocked on my door today when she got home and it was nice to see her again. I'm definitely glad we bonded those weeks ago even if it was over a negative thing. We chatted with much of the flat and later our new flatmate, whose name I am unable to spell right now so I will leave that until later, arrived and we all kind of got up in her face and chatted to her. She seems quite likable. :) Overall this semester I know I will be doing my thing and trying to not let the small things get to me. I grew so much last semester and learned even more about myself and began changing myself for the better. I hope to not let petty things get me down the next few months. I know I can do it. Oh, the other thing I wanted to note is that the past two or three days I've been listening to tons and tons of the Savage Love podcast (by Dan Savage) and I'm so happy Obi introduced me to him because as much as I thought I knew about sex and sexual health, I'm learning so much! And about relationships in general and life. Sometimes it's good to get the bitchy, blunt advice that is so different from how I would normally approach a situation. And I think that I will definitely try to internalize his way of thinking a little bit more, or I will at least consider things he's said re: relationships in the future. I am glad that it's still ongoing and that there are over 200 podcasts on my iPod right now because I'm only in the 20s and I am really, really enjoying it.
Here's to a good exam week, first volunteering experience, first work experience!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I am still alive...barely
So basically the British exam system is stupid. I've probably said this before but what happens is classes ended December 17th and my essays are due January 10th, and I have an essay exam to prepare for January 14th. I can't begin to tell you how horrible it is to have essays looming over you the whole of winter break, when everything is supposed to be DONE, you're supposed to eat lots of food and not worry AT ALL. But no, I freaked out for like two weeks and did research, then I ignored everything (but it was in the back of my mind) while Obi came and I went to Spain and then reality hit when I got back and I've literally spent hours and hour each day writing. My British Lit and Cinema essay actually excited me, although 4000 words is a fucking large amount of words. I wrote it in two days basically powering through everything. I am a fucking beast. My real problem with this thing is that libraries close, so you have to get your shit and get out. And I can't concentrate on two major things at once, which is why I wrote most of one paper in two days...so I could get to the paper I'm actually worried about--Jacobean theatre.
I had to leave my room yesterday to make it to Senate House Special Collections so I could actually have a physical copy of the play in front of me to read it, as opposed to frying my eyes and brain further trying to read 200 pages online. I found out that I had to order the book to be "fetched" and it wouldn't be available until today. So I got a late start but made it in and because it's an old book, I had to read it on a pillow on the table with a special string of weights to hold it open. But I got it done and bought a new phone (O2 is retarded cus you can't just buy a phone, you also have to buy top-up, so I have another sim card worth ten pounds...) and returned SOME books to Maughan, whose entrance and exit gates currently beep at me because I owe an increasing fine.
Anyway, I came home and was productive, reading more criticism. Then I had the task of making my essay plan and as I looked at all the papers and notes strewn about I literally just felt like crying. But I did that and then I was like I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE so I skyped for over two hours and then couldn't find my motivation so I ate a chocolate muffin in sadness and solitude. After a shower, I tackled the Jacobean essay for an hour and got through about 800 words. Not a bad start. Tomorrow I have job training so wish me luck with that! Then it's at least covering The Duchess of Malfi for jacobean, if not getting to The Widow as well, and probably deciding what I'm writing about for Irish Lit essay exam. Saturday it's finish and edit brit lit, finish jacobean (edit on Sunday), probs gathering books time this weekend. Ohhhhh how I have erotica ideas floating around my head and already writing themselves a bit but I can't stand to look at a word document for awhile...even writing this my fingers are like...Elissa...please...
I had to leave my room yesterday to make it to Senate House Special Collections so I could actually have a physical copy of the play in front of me to read it, as opposed to frying my eyes and brain further trying to read 200 pages online. I found out that I had to order the book to be "fetched" and it wouldn't be available until today. So I got a late start but made it in and because it's an old book, I had to read it on a pillow on the table with a special string of weights to hold it open. But I got it done and bought a new phone (O2 is retarded cus you can't just buy a phone, you also have to buy top-up, so I have another sim card worth ten pounds...) and returned SOME books to Maughan, whose entrance and exit gates currently beep at me because I owe an increasing fine.
Anyway, I came home and was productive, reading more criticism. Then I had the task of making my essay plan and as I looked at all the papers and notes strewn about I literally just felt like crying. But I did that and then I was like I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE so I skyped for over two hours and then couldn't find my motivation so I ate a chocolate muffin in sadness and solitude. After a shower, I tackled the Jacobean essay for an hour and got through about 800 words. Not a bad start. Tomorrow I have job training so wish me luck with that! Then it's at least covering The Duchess of Malfi for jacobean, if not getting to The Widow as well, and probably deciding what I'm writing about for Irish Lit essay exam. Saturday it's finish and edit brit lit, finish jacobean (edit on Sunday), probs gathering books time this weekend. Ohhhhh how I have erotica ideas floating around my head and already writing themselves a bit but I can't stand to look at a word document for awhile...even writing this my fingers are like...Elissa...please...
Monday, January 3, 2011
Happy New Year, all
So that Friday we got up so early. I actually set my alarm and then fell back asleep and then got up 6 minutes before I was supposed to meet them. It took me 20 min to get ready and by the time I got outside, they weren't there. So I got some caffeine at Dunkin and sat in a seat that looked out to the street so I could see them, and sure enough, five min later they stumbled by, having been let up into the hostel to find me gone. We went to Museo del Prado, which is a really famous museum in Madrid, and we saw the Renoir exhibit primarily. My favorites were Onions and the lady bather arranging her hair:
We then mostly wandered and went to two gift shops inside the museum and I finally bought Violet the coolest book. I can't wait to read it to her, although I will have to look up some of the words lol. (It's in Spanish.)
At some point that day, we wandered toward the Palacio Real, which is the palace where the king lives. Devin and I got sidetracked at la cripta, the crypt, and paid 2 euro to see it. The Palacio wasn't open because it was new year's day so we took pictures of the outside and then went to the jardines (gardens) beside it, which were beautiful and smelled of herbs. There were really steep steps that had no traction at all that I nearly slipped down so I was very careful and climbed down them gingerly like an old woman. And then we walked down the Gran Via to make a giant loop home. Devin pointed out the National Geographic Cafe, which was to play a later part in our adventures in Madrid.
Later in the night my hostel was getting to hot and noisy for the others, so we walked in the direction of the museum again and stopped to sort of relish the cool air. We wandered a lot through parky areas before heading back to my hostel for the grapes and cava. The new year's tradition in Spain is that for the 12 strokes of the new year you're meant to eat a grape on each one and drink cava, which is a sort of sweet wine. We got to Puerta del Sol just before 10pm and stood there for two hours talking and waiting. Sam and I kissed Devin at midnight. The crowd was so thick it took us 15 min to get to my hostel whereas normally it would take like two. I didn't sleep well because everyone in the hostel was up and people kept coming into the room and not shutting the door.
I finally climbed out of bed just before 11, having tentative plans that Devin and Sam would show up around 2pm. From Devin's status on fb, I learned that they got very, very lost until 3am so I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing them. The two Swiss/Swedish girls who shared my room and were very nice literally watched movies all day so I alternately sat with them and did sudoku or went on the computer in hopes that I would catch Devin or Sam. Come 5pm there was no word so I went to El Taurino for dinner. I had a weird salad that had Spanish feta (not salty enough) and was covered in yogurt. It was ok. Then I ate a whole piece of chocolate cake and felt kind of gross and not well. I sat in the hostel when at about 8ish, Sam and Devin walked in, Devin having waited for me there JUST after I left for dinner. They wanted dinner so we went to a restaurant up my street where I could only manage half a glass of sangria and left early because my stomach was gross. I changed into PJs and was on the computer chatting with people until about 11, and then I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time because there was a person out on the street who would not shut up with one of those squeaky mouth instruments. It was awful.
Yesterday morning I had to get up before 10 so I could formally check out of my room. I stored my things and then sat on the computer because the others were supposed to show up. Around 10:40, I remembered the "always check facebook" rule and learned that they were in dunkin cus they couldn't get into my hostel so I met them there and we went to El Rostro, which is a HUGE street market. The sun was actually out, too. I ended up buying a carpet bag which I'm really happy with. From there we walked in the direction of the Palacio again and stopped at a place for tiny ass portions of food to tide us over. Then we went to El Templo de Debod, which is an Egyptian temple that was donated to Spain. We weren't allowed in cus it was Sunday and they were closing early, so we wandered around it. It was situated in a park area so it was just gorgeous. And it sat overlooking part of the city. We made our way up the Gran Via again, and decided to eat a better lunch at the National Geographic Cafe. What a cool place! Our waiter was the nicest guy, we spoke in a mixture of Spanish and English, and we all were a bit smitten. He asked us where we were from and told us he was from Argentina and then he was like, "So we're all Americans!" Soooo adorable. Sam was finally happy with food, Devin got mint tea and found some peace, and I got a chai latte. The warm drinks were presented in little teapots and we were given cups to pour into. The chai was not spicy exactly, but it was milky and spicy enough and comforting. Sam and Devin went to the bathroom and our waiter asked me if I lived in Madrid and I told him I was studying in London for a year. At the end, he asked us if we had facebook (this was so not creepy, I promise), and said we didn't have to if we didn't want to, so I wrote down our names for him. I think he was just networking a little bit. It was just a really nice end to the outings, and it left us all in rather a good mood and giggly.
We hung around my hostel until about quarter to six when they got gelato and then saw me off to the metro station. I did so much better this time. I bought a train ticket and only mildly freaked out waiting at the tracks for the train. I got on the right one and then eventually found my way to the metro and took that to the airport. I was walking through, sweating augh, and the first bank of tvs the 2 in 20:55 (my plane's departure time) was cut off so I had a panic that my plane had been severely delayed. I checked at the next tv station and found that wasn't so. Then I waited in the heinously long check-in lines, worried that I was going to get to the front and find out I'd been in the wrong one. When I finally got to the desk, the guy asked me in Spanish where I was travelling to and I spluttered for a second before I said, "L-Londres." and he asked me sort like what?? And then it was straightened out and I was like, "Oh thank god, I thought you were going to tell me I had been waiting in the wrong line or something" to which he just responded, "Oh no. Don't you worry, Elissa Zimmer (Spanish accented!)." It was just really cute and funny....ahhh traveling. So I then down half a litre of water before security and went all the way to my gate.
On the plane I sat next to a really nice Spanish couple, though I only really spoke to the woman. She was terrified of taking off and descending, like breathing really hard and sweating. She was kind and gave me a mint. I panicked, too, because somehow I had not done the time difference correctly and booked the wrong easybus time home!! We got in like 15 min after I was supposed to leave!! So I was freaking out and got my bag and was literally on and off running to the bus stop because my ticket was good for an hour after the scheduled time but I wasn't guaranteed a seat. The gods smiled upon me though because I waited like two minutes for the bus and there were maybe five of us total. I booked another minicab because I didn't want to worry about the tube and I got home only half an hour after I had planned. To some disappointment, I wasn't greeted as thought. I was too tired then to be really sad, so I just ate some peanut butter and bread, watched Peep Show and then went to bed. I woke up sad though. And I've lost my phone. Nina says it goes straight to voicemail so no chance of finding it in my room that way. Now I desperately need a shower (MY OWN SHOWER). And some milk. And my phone. AND ESSAYS AUGH.
You can find pictures of Madrid here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=321880&id=552508884&saved#!/album.php?aid=321880&id=552508884
We then mostly wandered and went to two gift shops inside the museum and I finally bought Violet the coolest book. I can't wait to read it to her, although I will have to look up some of the words lol. (It's in Spanish.)
At some point that day, we wandered toward the Palacio Real, which is the palace where the king lives. Devin and I got sidetracked at la cripta, the crypt, and paid 2 euro to see it. The Palacio wasn't open because it was new year's day so we took pictures of the outside and then went to the jardines (gardens) beside it, which were beautiful and smelled of herbs. There were really steep steps that had no traction at all that I nearly slipped down so I was very careful and climbed down them gingerly like an old woman. And then we walked down the Gran Via to make a giant loop home. Devin pointed out the National Geographic Cafe, which was to play a later part in our adventures in Madrid.
Later in the night my hostel was getting to hot and noisy for the others, so we walked in the direction of the museum again and stopped to sort of relish the cool air. We wandered a lot through parky areas before heading back to my hostel for the grapes and cava. The new year's tradition in Spain is that for the 12 strokes of the new year you're meant to eat a grape on each one and drink cava, which is a sort of sweet wine. We got to Puerta del Sol just before 10pm and stood there for two hours talking and waiting. Sam and I kissed Devin at midnight. The crowd was so thick it took us 15 min to get to my hostel whereas normally it would take like two. I didn't sleep well because everyone in the hostel was up and people kept coming into the room and not shutting the door.
I finally climbed out of bed just before 11, having tentative plans that Devin and Sam would show up around 2pm. From Devin's status on fb, I learned that they got very, very lost until 3am so I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing them. The two Swiss/Swedish girls who shared my room and were very nice literally watched movies all day so I alternately sat with them and did sudoku or went on the computer in hopes that I would catch Devin or Sam. Come 5pm there was no word so I went to El Taurino for dinner. I had a weird salad that had Spanish feta (not salty enough) and was covered in yogurt. It was ok. Then I ate a whole piece of chocolate cake and felt kind of gross and not well. I sat in the hostel when at about 8ish, Sam and Devin walked in, Devin having waited for me there JUST after I left for dinner. They wanted dinner so we went to a restaurant up my street where I could only manage half a glass of sangria and left early because my stomach was gross. I changed into PJs and was on the computer chatting with people until about 11, and then I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time because there was a person out on the street who would not shut up with one of those squeaky mouth instruments. It was awful.
Yesterday morning I had to get up before 10 so I could formally check out of my room. I stored my things and then sat on the computer because the others were supposed to show up. Around 10:40, I remembered the "always check facebook" rule and learned that they were in dunkin cus they couldn't get into my hostel so I met them there and we went to El Rostro, which is a HUGE street market. The sun was actually out, too. I ended up buying a carpet bag which I'm really happy with. From there we walked in the direction of the Palacio again and stopped at a place for tiny ass portions of food to tide us over. Then we went to El Templo de Debod, which is an Egyptian temple that was donated to Spain. We weren't allowed in cus it was Sunday and they were closing early, so we wandered around it. It was situated in a park area so it was just gorgeous. And it sat overlooking part of the city. We made our way up the Gran Via again, and decided to eat a better lunch at the National Geographic Cafe. What a cool place! Our waiter was the nicest guy, we spoke in a mixture of Spanish and English, and we all were a bit smitten. He asked us where we were from and told us he was from Argentina and then he was like, "So we're all Americans!" Soooo adorable. Sam was finally happy with food, Devin got mint tea and found some peace, and I got a chai latte. The warm drinks were presented in little teapots and we were given cups to pour into. The chai was not spicy exactly, but it was milky and spicy enough and comforting. Sam and Devin went to the bathroom and our waiter asked me if I lived in Madrid and I told him I was studying in London for a year. At the end, he asked us if we had facebook (this was so not creepy, I promise), and said we didn't have to if we didn't want to, so I wrote down our names for him. I think he was just networking a little bit. It was just a really nice end to the outings, and it left us all in rather a good mood and giggly.
We hung around my hostel until about quarter to six when they got gelato and then saw me off to the metro station. I did so much better this time. I bought a train ticket and only mildly freaked out waiting at the tracks for the train. I got on the right one and then eventually found my way to the metro and took that to the airport. I was walking through, sweating augh, and the first bank of tvs the 2 in 20:55 (my plane's departure time) was cut off so I had a panic that my plane had been severely delayed. I checked at the next tv station and found that wasn't so. Then I waited in the heinously long check-in lines, worried that I was going to get to the front and find out I'd been in the wrong one. When I finally got to the desk, the guy asked me in Spanish where I was travelling to and I spluttered for a second before I said, "L-Londres." and he asked me sort like what?? And then it was straightened out and I was like, "Oh thank god, I thought you were going to tell me I had been waiting in the wrong line or something" to which he just responded, "Oh no. Don't you worry, Elissa Zimmer (Spanish accented!)." It was just really cute and funny....ahhh traveling. So I then down half a litre of water before security and went all the way to my gate.
On the plane I sat next to a really nice Spanish couple, though I only really spoke to the woman. She was terrified of taking off and descending, like breathing really hard and sweating. She was kind and gave me a mint. I panicked, too, because somehow I had not done the time difference correctly and booked the wrong easybus time home!! We got in like 15 min after I was supposed to leave!! So I was freaking out and got my bag and was literally on and off running to the bus stop because my ticket was good for an hour after the scheduled time but I wasn't guaranteed a seat. The gods smiled upon me though because I waited like two minutes for the bus and there were maybe five of us total. I booked another minicab because I didn't want to worry about the tube and I got home only half an hour after I had planned. To some disappointment, I wasn't greeted as thought. I was too tired then to be really sad, so I just ate some peanut butter and bread, watched Peep Show and then went to bed. I woke up sad though. And I've lost my phone. Nina says it goes straight to voicemail so no chance of finding it in my room that way. Now I desperately need a shower (MY OWN SHOWER). And some milk. And my phone. AND ESSAYS AUGH.
You can find pictures of Madrid here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=321880&id=552508884&saved#!/album.php?aid=321880&id=552508884
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